Stuff Apostolics Like

 I was raised in church and now I am miserable. Did the Holy Ghost do this? I don't know. I was 8 years old when I spoke in tongues. A child who was trying his hardest to do the things he was told to do. All my friends received the Holy Ghost when they were five six or seven. But I was scared of lying to myself about having the Holy Ghost. So I waited until I could be sure I received it. I waited until it was true. When I was 8 I spoke in tongues and cried and felt  I was saved. They told me I was saved and they showed me a scripture to prove it and I believed it and I was happy. My pastor, he died at the age of 35. I was 14 when he died. I was still saved then. That pastor, he was funny. Loving. I miss him. I don't remember crying as hard as I did when I found out he was gone. The most wonderful man I knew at the time. The man who replaced him, I remember him too. I never knew a man who cared more about his people..... He tried his best as I grew older. ...

Introduction: Describing a room and, eventually how we're all going to hell Serious pretend time here: Let's pretend we all grew up together. Like you, me and about 200 others...Best friends! And we all grew up in the same room, under the same watchful babysitters and parents. And this room is really big. Huge  really. Also: we can't leave the room. Ever. Naturally, we grow up learning the same things. We go through the same drama and rumors and playtime together. If a fight breaks out, it's our business. If a break-up happens, we tell the break-upper that they needed to move on, and also tell the break-uppee that they deserve better. In this scenario, we are perfect socializers. In this room, we like some people. We secretly hate others. Yes it gets boring. Often overly dramatic at times. But overall, life is pretty good. Not to mention that the social circle is still relatively small enough that we still feel like everyone knows us and we know everyone,...