Stuff Apostolics Like

Editor's Comment: To ensure credit goes where it's due, the below is written  by fellow SAL blogger Glen McGee. Last week I broke. I thought I had reached this point before. The first time breaking came a week before I left for Los Angeles when I cried my eyes out in a car with a friend. I cried harder than I ever had before. I thought that was the lowest point. It wasn't. Last Saturday was. It was then that I found my soul torn inside out. It was then that I truly broke down. I think too much. Overthinking about things I shouldn't. They shouldn't matter as much as they do.  I dwell on these things.  I relate to the movie Inception because the tiniest seed of an idea can land in my mind and it will grow and spread like a cancer. It's obsessive and disconcerting. I should mention that my breakdown last week was prompted by an Instagram photo. But let's put that into context. My whole life, all I have ever wanted was to be valued...

So if you're here, the good news is that you're here and alive. This matters. Be thankful. And for those who left us.... well I'm really hoping their funeral was somber and reverent and done with decency. Because some of the dead aren't that fortunate. Sometimes you die and the funeral preacher is so completely detached from reality that when they are invited to speak at a funeral, their eyes secretly get all wide-eyed and scary as if a sinister plot is unraveling in their head. These kind of preachers for some ungodly reason see funerals as opportunities to just completely lose themselves and preach the Acts 2:38 salvation message in the most frantic, urgent way possible that scares just about everyone in attendance except for those who are already saved and the corpse itself. What does that even mean? I'll tell you exactly what it means. Two weeks ago I found out a friend from the past died. I grew up with him in church. To be honest, we were more ...

(Done in stream of consciousness on the fly, just because....overthinking causes long posts which....totally boring...) Speaking of networking... I was reminded of a hypothesis that is no way true of every young minister/pastor, but seems to be the going way of things in the UPC... but the young youth pastors/evangelists asked to speak the most often at camps/conventions/conferences are the one's most networked through their father or father-in-law. Which, is yeah, obvious. Nothing new right? Except most of the time these guys are just bad speakers. Flat out dull, banal, formulaic or obviously "acting the part of what an evangelist should sound like." And yet these cats keep getting asked to preach year in and year out at the best conferences and I can't fig it.... because I know there are plenty of less connected preachers who maybe don't dress as snazzy as the Fortunate Sons but are way more informed about good Exegesis and are more caring about the...

Recently I moved across the country to California, far away from my friends, family, church, and reprobates like Joel Riley. Just kidding, Joel’s not a reprobate. He’s so much worse than a reprobate. Anyways, I knew traveling to the Godless Sodom that is Los Angeles I would have trouble finding a good church. I had a long discussion with a good friend about what I was looking for and I think I narrowed it down pretty well. He, and a few others, showed me websites for a barrage of churches that the jive talkin cool young cats get down with JC at these days. Now, while most people thought these churches were IT man, they were IT, all I saw was a bunch of wannabe’s. Every website was trying SO hard to be cool. I likened it to high school. See, in high school there’s the ‘popular/cool kids’, and there’s everyone else. When you get out of high school you realize that none of that social stigma stuff mattered and you move on, but when you’re in it it’s all you can think about. That is, if yo...

I am averaging  0.333333333 ( Repeating, of course) posts per month over the last three months and yet the little stat thermometer says I am getting 150  visits still a day (save Thanksgiving)? Perhaps they are all just computers visiting my site a random and reading about these strange people called "Apostolic," in hopes that if one day they can speak in tongues, they too will also became humans.... Second confession: I am starting a multi-person blog.... This is challenging. I am having to do things. I don't like this. If you or anyone  you know who knows anything about writing code in Wordpress, and is okay with getting absolute zero monies for their work, then please contact me.  I will pay you via means of a personal handwritten letter and/or a collage. Because I am making collages lately man. Post? Post: When I was a kid and not long ago, there were/are many whispers around the church about revival. The revival was coming. We knew this. You still kn...

Yeah that one verse about that one issue regarding functionality, adaptability, proportionality, actuality, and sometimes magic.

The Guilt You can already hear it. That altar-call plea for you to go out and bring in the sheaves. Because if you don't, on Judgment Day, your co-workers and your neighbors are going to look at you with wide-pleading eyes, demanding of you, "Why didn't you tell me I needed to speak in tongues to get here?!" Then you'll be left, shrugging your guilt-laden shoulders, hanging your head in shame because apparently, you were too ashamed of Jesus to recount Peter's Pentecost sermon to people. Think you're gonna hear "Well done thou good and faithful servant?" Guess again, playa. The best thing for you to do is start inviting people to church left and right to avoid gettin that spiritual blood on your hands. After all, the Bible says inviting people to church is the first step to saving their souls . . . oh, wait. The Glory High-five, dude! Bob from accounting finally gave in and got a taste of that Holy Ghost FI-ya! All those "If you don...