#90-Hooker Boots (before passing judgements on terminology please see the fine print below)

 Fine Print:Okay so I know the term "hooker boots" is inevitably going to offend some people. Lord knows that if I was from some rural environment who has found his little utopia in the small town nearby and their local church, whose size ranges from 50-100 people I would probably be offended too because hookers seem so depressingly dirty and unclean and promiscuous and obscene and invasive and capitalistic   and therefore should avoid every reference to them.....

A little bigger print: That said, I have wanted to write about this topic for a quite some time ever since this was recommended by a reader, but I struggled with the proper terminology and wording that encompasses the fact that the picture above is a visual element of a pair of boot-shoes that gained their notoriety and fame and influence directly from the prostitutes that frequent our ghetto's, brothels, shady joints that pollute our towns, and any other visual dungeon of our civilization.We don't want to be reminded that such people exist so we don't like terms that reference them. That said, the boots above are popular now in our churches and they owe their influence indirectly from these prostitutes. I am uncomfortable to use the term "hooker" in this blog but there is no better term to describe the above shoes than "hooker boots." I even made a facebook status asking for a more politically correct term for hooker boots, and while there were a few helpful suggestions, none of them were as direct and concise and poignant as "hooker boots." That said, I ask you to withhold judgment on such usage...We must also remember that the  prophets and the gospel writers themselves showed no restraint in referencing these harlots/whores/tramps,  etc...

Regular Print: I don't know if any of you remember, or even had contact with a trend that tried ambushing the UPC somewhere in the mid 90's....Teenagers left and right began not only wearing ridiculously baggy jeans (Most likely from a brand called JNCO), but these teenagers thought it appropriate and attractive to sag these baggy jeans to the point that one's underwear was showing as these guys walked around thinking this is the best way to land a girlfriend.

But James Dobson was not having any of that....Him and a few others saw that the saggy pants should be off-limits everywhere within the Lord's Kingdom, and promptly pointed our eyes in the right direction to the fact that the trend of sagging one's pants began in prison.....as an invitation of sorts to fellow prison mates....(trying not to be too vulgar)...This immediately put an end to the pant sagging in our churches, but knowing it's origins it's any wonder how such a trend ever ended up in our churches to begin with.

If anything the pant sagging trend showed a strong weakness in our tendency to isolate ourselves from culture and the awareness thereof: We can let things/trends enter the front door of our churches completely oblivious of the connotations that these trends may be referencing that would be much easier to pick up if one was just a little more culturally aware of our environment outside ourselves.

It can be a dangerous price to pay for working hard to maintain your own sense of communal identity separate from those around you...

But I mentioned the 90's sagging pants trend to say that the popular Apostolic trend of "hooker boots" is no different....The boots have walked right into our church simply because they seem to go well with skirts? I don't know, but I do know that hookers in short skirts are the source of these leather boots and we seem to be either completely clueless of their origins or perhaps we are seeing the weirdest marriage of "opposites attracting" wherein the conservative Apo-Pento's take their fashion cues from the most heinous sector's of the secular realm: The Prostitutes.

The strange thing is, some could argue very justifiably that these hooker boots are incredibly modest because they show less calf than typical shoes would when worn with a skirt....Okay, cool....

But what you ladies who wear the hooker boots need to explain  is how in the world you get those things on? I know it's not as easy as slipping slipper on...I myself experienced a nightmare come true at the mall last week when I mistakenly tried on a pair of jeans that were for sale at Urban Outfitters only to be horrified when I tried them on to find out they were skinny jeans! And the hardest part about putting skinny jeans on was not lifting them up around the thigh, but rather lifting them up around the ankles and calves....And if I struggled to put those skinny jeans on (one of the awkward moments of my life whose memories I would choose to forget if I could), I know you females struggle all the more so with those hooker boots....

So what's the deal? Why are they here?

Theologically speaking, should the origins of the trend dictate whether or not they are permissible in church?

I don't know and I really don't care....

It's just weird....

But it gets weirder....

The first lady of Christianity, Sarah Palin...

She gets down with the Hooker boots as well....

Like what kind of sick and twisted world is this when Miss "I heard she was baptized in the name of Jesus and spoke in tongues" is caught taking her footwear cues from the local STD distribution centers aka Prostitutes....