#108-Israel

(I have to apologize in advance for the scatter-shot and the generally disorganized nature of the post. It was written in the midst of final term papers, holiday activities, and the intellectual malaise brought on by winter break. Hopefully future posts will be greatly superior in quality.)

While driving through a small town recently I was taken aback by the seemingly odd assortment of flags in front of a locally owned franchise restaurant. There were three flags: The state flag, the American flag, and the Israeli flag.

Wait.
What?
One of these doesn't fit.

I understood the first two, but the third? I asked a local what the reason could possibly be. Was the owner Israeli or Jewish, perhaps? Nope. A particularly large contingent of Israeli's in the town? Nope. Traditional Jewish holiday in observance? Nope. Itzhak Perlman playing anywhere near? Nope. Frankly I was stumped, and then I made a last ditch guess. Is the owner Pentecostal?

Local: "Why, yes, I think so. How did you know?"
Me: "Hmm, how did I....."

After America (a future post), North American Apostolics reserve their greatest national pride for Israel. Churchgoers who would be politically ignorant under normal circumstances become crack analysts and historians when Israel's precarious political position is raised. Some Pentecostal pastors are able to recount the events of the Six Days War with such clarity that it would make even the most stalwart 20th Century historian blush with envy.

The Apostolic hyper-sensitivity regarding Israel is so strong that insults can be construed out of even the most off-hand, unrelated remark--"What do you mean you didn't like "Minority Report? You know Steven Spielberg directed it, right?"

You see, to speak negatively against Israel, or to let it be spoken of without defense, is to put one's very salvation in serious danger and Pentecostals will go to great lengths to stand up for their spiritual brethren across the pond.

Example: A favorite argument, generally issued with a note of finality, as if the haymaker has just landed in a fifteen round heavyweight title match is, "You know, Jesus was a Jew."

Yes, this is true; it would be the acme of ignorance to deny this fact.

However, this line of logic is potentially flawed, given that Jesus was also a radically anti-establishment proto-socialist who spent the majority of His earthly ministry preaching and teaching against the contemporary form of religious and political conservatism. Even so, it's a safe bet that the majority of today's Pentecostals won't be switching political parties, shutting off Rush Limbaugh, or eschewing their material wealth to join a small religiously-minded commune anytime soon.

There are, of course, the countless miscellany Israel-centered practices of Pentecost, a few of which should be noted briefly. The tambourine-led Jericho-inspired prayer line that is sent circling the sanctuary or building if a pastor is so inclined, to bring down various spiritual and temporal strongholds. The use of Hebrew words and concepts from the OT; examples include the “Shekhinah Glory Praise Team,” a “Talmidim Discipleship Group,” and naming the motley group of 18-50 something year old men in the church who run errands for the pastor “Armor Bearers.” To this we can also include the use in Pentecostal songs and prayer of God’s old coventantal names: Jehovah-jireh, Jehova-nissi, Jehovah-shalom, etc. Explaining to a Pentecostal that their own doctrine, what with Jesus name baptism, the concurrent New Testament covenant and all that follows from it, make these names outmoded and powerless is a often pointless exercise; it’s best to dance along, the songs do actually tend to be pretty catchy and the tambourine really adds a nice touch.

All of this pales in comparison to one of the more odd materializations of Israel-fixation: the Holy Land trip. Each year many a Pentecostal makes the pilgrimage to the holy land in an attempt to reconnect with the roots of their faith. Imagine, if you will, the sight of 20-30 Apostolics trodding through Jerusalem/Bethlehem, hitting every single spot that might contain even an inkling of religious value.

With every temple and tourist site hit, the group gets a little holier and little more enlightened; upon their return this group will brandish countless holy land themed souvenirs with each holding a unique spiritual insight for the possessor—and those they constantly show them to. Gradually each member will succumb to an agonizing burden for the souls of their lost Israeli brethren. It begins upon their arrival walking off the plane when the blast of dry desert heat takes on the double nature of spiritual confusion and oppression. It takes a sharply dramatic turn as the tour reaches Mount Megiddo and, witnesses as if in a trance, visions of the final battle for mankind. The burden finally crescendos en masse somewhere near the end of the tour guide’s schedule when one polo-tucked-in-khaki’s Pentecostal walks forward, tears streaming from their eyes, with voice trembling as they awkwardly recite Matthew 23:37/Luke 13:34. The rest of the group follows suit with a similar conviction, bearing it in their hearts and relaying it to their less-concerned brethren back at the home church during testimonials. NOTE: The scenario offered above is subject to radical change in the likely possibility that one or more of the members goes on a vision/spirit trek (out of the body or in the body, it just depends) during the trip, in which case a book deal may be in the offing.

Is the Pentecostal obsession with all things Israel a horrible thing? Certainly not. Is it a little weird? Yeah, kinda.

(As Joel has mentioned in earlier posts, remember to read this with a grain of salt and some humor.)