Stuff Apostolics Like

An open letter to the Facebook suggestion to join the Ignite Youth Group from that one girl I think I met at youth convention two years ago, Listen, I know I ignored your request to join your youth group on Facebook.  The reality is it's not you, it's me. The problem lies within myself. I take the blame. You have been terrific. However many hours you have been sitting there in my e-mail inbox and on Facebook itself. Dedicated, sturdy, patient.   I feel awful about it. Believe me, I really do. I know it seems like I don't care, but I do. I feel a guilt similar to when a girl comes up to you after church selling various food items such as popcorn in a bucket, fudge, etc... for her school fundraiser to go on the field trip to fifth grade camp. And her mother, the choir director, is staring right at you. Waiting. Waiting for you to pay for some overpriced popcorn that you will never eat. She is making judgements if you don't pledge money. You ...

Editor's Note: This post is from Slapastolic . You should probably follow his twitter.  He is kinda a big deal. "Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes and like greetings in the marketplaces  and have the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feasts,  who devour widows' houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation. " - Jesus, Mark 12:38-40 Don't shoot the messenger.

3 short stories: Disparate and disjointed, but all in the name of unity, harmony, etc...                       "Confess your sins one to another."                                                       -James 5:16 Citation: Semi-longer post like NAYC-version A. Meaning...Page Break! And a song....a really creepy song with completely Christian message that really sums up what this post is going at (you will be weirded out and not realize how amazing it is until the last verse...it's about John Wayne Gacy. Serial Killer. And yes, I swear it's Christian.). Maybe not the song you want playing at your worship service. But hey, when's the last time you heard anyone sing about Song of Solomon for a worship song either? John Wayne Gacy, Jr. by Sufjan Stevens  I Preface...

Editor's Note: I can't stand the idea of expectations.  Because I am average. We don't exceed expectations. We shoot for mediocrity and kick ourselves if someone applauds us in the process.  (But seriously, thanks for all the compliments, they really did encourage me and if you e-mailed me I am sorry i have not gotten back with you....will do soon). So here is an average post. This post here, the Imaginary Monologue will be a new on again, off against   spin on a post where I present an imaginary monologue from the perspective of a person or item that is liked by Apostolics or integral to Apostolic culture (in other words, it's a fictional telling of what it's like to be "so and so in your church" or in this case what it's like to be a "camera"). Imaginary Monologue from a  Nikon: Coolpix S8000 14.2-Megapixel Digital Camera (Pictured) from last Friday's post-youth service dinner/hang out at the Collins Home. The event is not goin...

Foreword: I was initially hesitant to write this up because I worried that it would be too redundant, but Joel asked that this post be more analytical than his, so I set out to do that. This post sets out to apply, somewhat awkwardly, a very limited discursive analysis to nayc 2009 and, as often happens when applying theory to something the first time, it bears a host of flaws. That early realization led to me dragging my feet in posting this (it was supposed to be up last monday). As I prayed about how to write it, I felt something telling me not to write it and I almost backed out on Joel. Finally, on Friday morning while praying in the shower (quick aside, anyone else get some great prayer while bathing/brushing your teeth?) I felt released to write it so long as I approached it from a completely different angle. So, that's what I did. That little vignette isn't an attempt to free me from criticism, in fact, I'd be very happy if you did. I only ask that, as with my la...

Editor's Note:   If there is ever a blog post on here that I invested my heart and soul and actually agonized over, it is this one.  There will actually be another, probably more SAL-like post about NAYC 2009 in a few days from Chady. Two posts about one congress? Because I really think what happened there is that important. Like people may have thought it was just another 3 day extravaganza of boys being called to be preachers,  but I thought what happened at this congress was not coincidental. It was rather quite carefully structured with precision. Sadly, the post here is long. 7 pages single spaced, long. I hate that. Consider it a memoir. The world's shortest memoir. Now you won't hate it's length.  Because of it's length, I have broken the piece up into chapters (1.5 pages per chapter). I have also included it as a downloadable file, click here . Print this if that would help. But anyways, I guess I am kind of asking you to read this one. It's written q...

Dear reader (saint or heathen), John Paul (hero), Lloyd the loyalist here with the third and final installment of the "not emergent" series. We last left off on the modest proposal (see previous two posts for an understanding) with various occurrences to identify the emergents among us. They are not good people. Once identified they are to be collected (possibly with bear traps.). Now we take off, with the emergents in the back of vans. They will be transported. This will happen. In the middle of the night. While the world is asleep, we will be saving the world. We will take them to the Yukon Territory in Northern Canada where there is nothing but tundra and a few white bears and some seals. What I describe next, I must admit, is not my own genius that thought up such a function: Rather I saw on the History Channel...err...I mean, read on Wikipedia. It was about Japanese Internment camps during World War II wherein our Great and Sacred Country afforded the Japane...

( The second Installment of a A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Emergents Amongst Apostolics but While utilizing the Emergents in Such a Way that they Are Beneficial to Our Movement.) "Why of Course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, most common people don't want war. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in an country." -Hermann Goring Lloyd here, now with my own profile (if you are comp...

Editor's Note: A few weeks ago I mentioned that some of the topics that would be discussed would be Apostolic Identity, Youth Congress 2009, etc.... Well after that announcement, I was immediately intruded upon by an e-mail from someone naming himself only as "Zorro." And then in a following e-mail as "Lloyd the Fighting Loyalist." He demanded that my blog, in the name of being fair and balanced (which I have never claimed), to allow him the honor of doing a few posts representing the "silent majority" as the "voice of their cause for righteousness." I demanded an article that he would be willing to post as to show that his writing would be anything above subpar. He said he had dozens of such articles, but he was particularly fond of this one. He also asked that I post his picture which he sent (the portrait above). After careful inspection, the picture ends up being a portrait of the philosopher, Hegel with a Groucho Marx nose/mustache mask...