Editor's Note: Glen Post!
A little ditty to brighten your day...
I can only
base the following on one facility in one state, my home state, so bare with my narrow
scope.
Growing up
in the Michigan District UPCI one of the highlights of my adolescence was the
two hour drive across the state to the middle of East Jabip somewhere, to the
‘Ol Campground.
A glorious
beaut’ she was, settled just between Mayberry and Nowhere. I can’t be
downwind of an outhouse today without being taken aback to summers getting
shocked by the showerheads, sleeping on rusty beds, and
the sweet aroma of Right Guard, Aussie and sweat.
That’s just
the beginning of the painting. I’m ‘bout to go Rembrandt in this mother...
Our camp was
a little bit Heavens Gate and a lotta bit Auschwitz. It sat on roughly 100
acres in a clearing between some railroad tracks and an old creek. It was built
sometime between the invention of indoor plumbing and the founding of the
Department of Health, which would explain why they've probably never seen the
place.
The dorms
are two buildings that are built like X’s with a bathroom at the center. Each
arm of the X is its own dorm, with North, South, East and West dorms each
housing about 50 kids. The boys and girls are next to each other, though
separated by a high tech invention called a Rickety Fence.
Sounds fine
right?
No.
These things were built over 50 years ago and I’m pretty sure they filmed Shawshank Redemption in them. The beds were donated by Jackson Prison, which is a hop, skip and belly crawl away. Yeah you read that right, the prison there donates to the church because having rapists sleep on those sharp, rusty, chlamydia soaked beds is just inhumane.
No.
These things were built over 50 years ago and I’m pretty sure they filmed Shawshank Redemption in them. The beds were donated by Jackson Prison, which is a hop, skip and belly crawl away. Yeah you read that right, the prison there donates to the church because having rapists sleep on those sharp, rusty, chlamydia soaked beds is just inhumane.
However
that’s not the worst. The bathrooms. After years of countless conversations
about them, I'm almost at a loss for what to say. Almost.
Fact: The bathrooms are like a Mexican jail, with less luxuries.
Fact: Enjoy el Prision de Mexico.
Fact: The bathrooms are like a Mexican jail, with less luxuries.
Fact: Enjoy el Prision de Mexico.
The pipes
and septic tank were installed when the place was built (60 years ago). They’re installed in a part of the country that sits below freezing for seven months out of the year, with routinely record snowfalls, torrential storms, all
hitting this facility while it sits vacant. Then, it goes from vacant to
overrun for about 2-3 months with constant use, if not abuse. The plumbing has
become so corroded that after just a few days of use, the toilets literally
can’t flush. This means the clogging of the century in the the dorms as well as the tabernacle. The showers in the dorms are lined
up with one community drain which would routinely clog when one of the little prick campers thought it would be hilarious
to defecate IN the shower (true story, imagine being the camp counselor when a shaking 14 year old tries to figure out the best way to tell you someone just took a deuce in the shower). And the pooping in showers happened annually. No Joke.
One year so many toilets clogged that our youth president had to go into the stalls with a trash can and a plastic bag on his hand and literally dig crap out of the toilets while simultaneously throwing up in the trash can. And the people running the place think this is acceptable.
One year so many toilets clogged that our youth president had to go into the stalls with a trash can and a plastic bag on his hand and literally dig crap out of the toilets while simultaneously throwing up in the trash can. And the people running the place think this is acceptable.
I could go
pages with disgusting stories of the condition of the grounds but I think that
little tidbit gives you the idea.
So, if this
is the case and the campers sleep and bathe in squalor where does the
bourgeoisie…sorry, Freudian…preachers…where
do they sleep? Oh they have renovated, clean, pretty cabins that the campers
aren’t allowed to go to. (Seriously, if they do an old guy on a 4 wheeler runs them down and drags them back to Skid Row)
But they’re
still on the grounds right? Don’t they ever go in and see the conditions?
My first
time at camp was when I was 11 years old and it wasn’t until I was 25 and my
student pastor basically forced the
board to do a walk through that I’d ever seen any of them near the dorms and bathrooms, much
less in them.
A few years
ago we went from a five-day camp to a three-day camp following the supposed
death of some mystery girl in another state somewhere. The reason cited was
that she had stayed up all week and had to drive home tired, fell asleep and
crashed. I hope this isn’t true and if it is it’s terrible. So after the tragedy we changed the schedule, sending kids home on Friday morning so they wouldn't fall asleep driving. That same year I
was told that the real reason for the switch was that five-day camps require a
health inspection and three-day camps can somehow circumvent this rule, or at least require a less thorough one.
The implications: It's like cleaning up your room by sweeping everything under your bed in hopes that when your parents walk by with an inspection, they won't bother to actually walk in the room since they don't have reason for concern.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it. So I encourage any readers to comment with how many days your Senior High Camps are just so we can see if there’s consistency. Either way it was mentioned either as the reason or a fringe benefit. Ew.
The implications: It's like cleaning up your room by sweeping everything under your bed in hopes that when your parents walk by with an inspection, they won't bother to actually walk in the room since they don't have reason for concern.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it. So I encourage any readers to comment with how many days your Senior High Camps are just so we can see if there’s consistency. Either way it was mentioned either as the reason or a fringe benefit. Ew.
We hoped that change would come. We hoped that at the end of the yearly camp season the grandiose fundraising effort that took place for camp
improvements would actually accomplish what it set out every time to do. The “who will pledge $____” for a generator, a new septic tank,
new dorms, dorm renovations, an overflow tent, etc were regular. So we hoped...
However,
despite the seemingly successful offerings every year we never saw any money raised actually come to fruition. I was present for the septic
tank offering, the new bathrooms, the tent and the generator, but none of this
ever came. Even though all the money was pledged.
We did see
$25K spent on a glorified jungle gym under the guise of some kind of exercise
equipment, because kids go to camp to get ripped apparently. We saw another
$50K spent on a ‘Hall of Faith’, aka foyer because what good is a church if
there isn’t a big room to socialize and sell ostentatious crap during the preaching?
It was
decided one year that enough money had been raised for some bathroom
improvements. The improvements? Well, the church handymen got together
and decided that putting new toilets on ancient plumbing would help. Guess what? It didn't.
The next genius improvement was decided because there was a 3 foot opening between the bathrooms and dorms. In lieu of this campers could see each other going between the dorms and bathrooms after showering. Since the decision-makers believe we still live in the 40's and horny teenagers don't know what shoulders and knees look like from 50 yards off, a decision was made to build changing rooms in the bathrooms. So, wisely, in the hottest and most humid rooms in Southwest Michigan were built wooden changing rooms. Wood. In a hot, continually wet, place. Brilliant.
The most obvious answer to why the fundraised money was never spent on it's intended purpose is that not enough money was collected. People go pledge all happy-pants when there's an organ thumping a G-Major (apo's love key changes), but forget to check their balance before pledging half their liquid worth. That's not the camp leadership's fault, but waiting for Pastor Billy-Jo's check to arrive, much less clear, is a bad long term economic strategy.
I don’t
believe anyone embezzled or stole money from these fundraising efforts. I spent
a lot of time at camp and I can tell you the people who run it love camp. They
bleed for it. They spend as much time as they possibly can there. They're some of the most diligent, kindest, most dedicated men you'll ever meet. They're full of integrity, they're consistent and they love the kids they work for. They have
good intentions and do their best.
But their
best isn't good enough.
About eight
years ago my church built a new building. They wanted to be smart about their
money and the management of the facilities so they formed a committee of a few
business owners in the church. Not preachers, pastors or ministers, but
business owners. One is a very successful owner of a company who
started entry level and advanced to the point that he bought his company.
Another owns a successful insurance company. The other one owns malls. Plural.
The ministry opened their books and let men who are already successful and experienced
with facilities, money and staff management serve as advisors. Instead of
thinking “God will tell us what to do with the money,” they humbled themselves
and allowed other men with God given talents advise them. And guess what? The
place is doing great.
Being a
pastor does not mean you know money or facilities management. It doesn't mean
you’re a bad person or a bad pastor. What makes a bad person and bad pastor is
not allowing more qualified people than you to advise your spending decisions regarding a million dollar facility that you’re ill-equipped
to manage. Let the preachers preach and the managers manage.
Waiting for
the next retiree who knows how to mow a lawn and change a light bulb to move
onto the grounds and ‘maintain it’ isn't enough. Camp gets exponentially worse
every summer. When is someone going to be granted control who knows what
they’re doing? Hiring the bored old guys and the mentally handicapped to come in
and paint and patch the dry wall cracks every spring isn't good management. Hire a contractor Not the guy from your church who used to do construction part time. (I once went to a camp work day and was literally told to go rake in the woods. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about the decision making in the place I don't know what would)
For years
now I’ve tossed around the idea of waiting for the end of camp season to roll
around and calling the Department of Health and Human Services or Child Welfare
and sending them over, but my conscience won’t let me. However, anyone who
reads this should feel free. Blame me, I don’t care.
The bottom
line is that adolescent kids are sent to church camp every summer and they
spend their days begging a PK friend to let them use their shower so they won’t
be ankle deep in crap and that’s absolutely unacceptable. It’s time for the
leaders to realize they’ll still be leading, even if they’re leading in someone
more qualified to audit the grounds.
::END NOTE::
If you are, or you know, a parent sending a child to the Michigan District Campgrounds this summer you and/or they need to make some serious inquiries as to the conditions your children will be subjected to. Go there and see it for yourself, when dropping off and picking up. Take pictures. Have them take pictures. These conditions have somehow come to be accepted as normal. The kids don't speak up because they assume it's supposed to be the way it is. The adults that see it have gotten used to it. Parents end up unaware of the squalor their kids spend a week or two in. Start asking some questions.
::END NOTE::
If you are, or you know, a parent sending a child to the Michigan District Campgrounds this summer you and/or they need to make some serious inquiries as to the conditions your children will be subjected to. Go there and see it for yourself, when dropping off and picking up. Take pictures. Have them take pictures. These conditions have somehow come to be accepted as normal. The kids don't speak up because they assume it's supposed to be the way it is. The adults that see it have gotten used to it. Parents end up unaware of the squalor their kids spend a week or two in. Start asking some questions.
