#288- Bishop Walker

 

no one will read this. And beyond a women who has never cut her hair and has a dress that says "femme" I will be updating my edits to convey how annoying bishop and marvin were.  For 20 years, I've felt stapled to a cork board similar to the above picture. Accept I am ashamed of it,,, And I can just read Bishop Walker's victimization of herself as the aggrieved party (in my mind).  This wasn't the first or last time enabling male to female abuse and blaming the female. Bishop Walker....

watch what your wife has done... Only in the UPCI is schizophrenia celebrated... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9aL2MDdCI

Why was Elvis in Claudette's bathroom?

"I did it my way" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9aL2MDdCI

Introduction

 Somewhere at some godforsaken land, Marvin Walker was born. He mediated between believing in the UPC strict rules of of being a human being and then actually executed the UPC strict laws of a human being. He thought he was 55. He was three. This was all done so that Marvin Walker could tell himself that he was a human being. Unfortunately Marvin could never accept that he was in fact, a boring robot.

For fifteen years he defended his wife's quarterly absence from church somewhere between depression and migraines. Except we knew depression. Not I, but others knew migraines. 

Let me remind you dear reader that this diatribe is titled "bishop Walker" so I'm not here to discourage any attempt at artificially building a robot pastor. I'm just suggesting that robot pastor Marvin Walker  may be the worst kind of baseline robot to become a bishop in the history of bishops. Mind you the history of bishop hood has been going on for centuries. From the Catholic Church to chess pieces to financially successful UPC pastors who want to retire and still get a stipend for the fruits of their laurels. 

A few weeks ago I found out about one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time. Marvin Walker, my former pastor, destroyer of worlds, one of the most lost long winded boring, angry German preachers you could ever hear is retiring.   And without a taste of bitter humility, Marvin Walker announced a successor and named himself bishop of his own catastrophe.

To his credit, he , Marvin, is a maestro of finance. That's why he was hired as pastor in the first place. Literally we were told that. Marvin Walker robot took over the finances of his wife's father's finances at tupelo children's mansion in tupelo, Mississippi. And after fixing the finances God himself told Marvin to leave said church and arrive at troy, Michigan. Audio cassettes confirm that Marvin was still a robot at this time 

Marvin's wife however. Claudette. She was the daughter of the financially maligned  Doctor kleopper (sp?). He may have been a doctor I don't know.  She makes myths of things that did not happen. but she's crazy legend of faith.

Let's go back ... to the year 2000. I had no idea what depression was. I didn't understand crazy. I did understand how exhausting a marvin walker sermon was.  I was dumb and in charge of my own life. I was smart and funny in my own mind. I had the spirit of discernment of long winded preachers. 

And then

My pastor growing up (not marvin walker), dies. Way too young. Great human being. Loved the guy. He had his finger to the wind. Died young. In his thirties. Church then was at a population of 250ish. Like a successful church. Everything was on the up and up. I could go on about if God exists, he existed in that moment for us before pastor died.

 But God had other plans and by plans I mean robot Marvin Walker and his crazy wife named Claudette.

Seven people voted no to a robot as pastor. Out of I think 159 voting members .

Five of those seven would be gone within a year. 

Marvin Walker then spent thirty years boring a church  kicking and screaming about holding the company line  with fifty minutes of sermons that weren't good whatsoever (to the point of preaching his greatest hits every other year, but his hits weren't good... It was his misjudged assessment of cries as approval. The cries were genuine cries out of boredom. They were cries of "please let us get out of here. Like literally the run up to alter calls .... The constituents would march up to the altar hoping he would stop preaching.) 

Let's be clear. Marvin Walker only existed as my pastor because of defaulting into the position because previous, great pastor died. And likely the other board members wanted him to shut the hell up about how much God has told him that this is the job for him.

It was not the job for him.

I won't be committing libel. I promise.

Anyone who knows me knows how much my belief in not believing in God is based in the Bible and Marvin Walker and a lot of his mystic wife Claudette Walker. 

Whilst not privy to the insanity that is cult Claudette, I grew up in the youth group of Rick Rogers. Rick Rogers was appointed by recommendation of Marvin's son, Jon Walker. 

I thought Rick a cool guy. Awesome guy. A bro guy who drove cars fast.  He graduated from Indiana Bible College. Rick was such a cool guy that I unquestionably hated my sister and brother in law. They were youth leaders.

 

Unfortunately for the victim , Rick Rogers  chose a goal. A goal of predation upon one of the ladies in his youth group. 

Unfortunately for the victim, there was a Marvin Walker.

Unfortunately for the victim, two youth leaders, underneath Rick Rogers, out of sincere concern of victim, reported Rick Rogers to Marvin and Claudette. 

Unfortunately for the victim, the youth leaders were met with a condemnation. Specifically from mystic Claudette walker herself ... The condemnation was upon the whistle blowing youth leaders. Something about questioning the authority of the Lord God himself. Specifically for questioning a youth pastor preying on an underage girl. How dare they question god?

Unfortunately for the victim, the defense for youth pastor Rick Rogers from Marvin Walker and his mystic wife to the whistle blowers spurred him on in his predation. 

Also Rick rogers hides his shotgun under his bed to prove his point. 

Unfortunately for the victim, it took another act of predation for another meeting between robot and mystic with the whistle blowers... Whereby former rick Rogers was thrown to obscurity... And Claudette, once a condemner, threw her terrible, vile self on her knees and prayed and cried for forgiveness to the whistle blowing youth leaders. 

Unfortunately for the victim, Claudette walker did not offer similar apologies. 

( What I love is the holy Spirit moving throughout this.)

And while I don't care that the walkers would whine and dine and serve up Gerald jeffers for a revival every year, and Gerald is now apart of the Trinity broadcasting network (a huckster if there is ever one)....

What I do care about is the church is barely above 30 people and yet a robot has the audacity to name himself bishop as a complete failure. 

The faith apostolic Church of troy (F.A.C.T) still remains and looks amazing 

Because of a remodel that I'm financially skeptical about. I do know that Marv and Claudette soaked in that covid loan whose debt was forgiven. https://data.lansingstatejournal.com/paycheck-protection-program-loans/michigan/faith-apostolic-church-of-troy/7419567304/?page=1&searchtext=6710%20crooks&state=Michigan

But the real thing I have struggled at for years was if they really believed in their shenanigans or they both knowingly took on their role as God's chosen ones called to failure, bringing a church of vibrancy of 150-200 down to less than 30 in the name of some weird narrative about a remnant.  Kicking and screaming with terrible lectures.

I think they really have beliefs. Beliefs that are blinded. It was only the reality of marvs age that let him accept his retirement. Not his principles or failure. That's sad. 

But somehow Marvin Walker, robot, offender of dozens, had the sincere gull to also annunciate himself as bishop. Like someone who proclaims themself king of the dumpster fire they created. In spite of the lack of self awareness of his own failings and self destruction. I anticipate a saint Claudette and also an irreligious dance/

Honestly. I'm really just bitter that such a boring robot guy failed at his thing and  became managed his con to the point of bishop. There was nothing godly about him. Screaming and veins and elbows of authority when questioned. 

Did he, on FACT dollar scream in Hawaii about the view they were afforded money shorts and all? please look up one of his sermons. The guy has no couth. He's just really really boring and if he thinks he has a point he screams so loud it hurts your ears. 

I have yet to figure out Dr. Klopper.  Wait, wait

it gets neat:  Other Pastor-Johnathan walker....

employed the Dr. klopper for sermons

Doug davis is also employed there but he was a boring guy and a member of our board. .

I just need to know for the sake of our tithes why it gets so icky. 

Final:

Does Marvin see how weird it is to name himself bishop? He ran the operation into the ground and deems himself  Bishop. Maybe he wasn't a robot after all. Because robots would never miscalculate this much. And if Marvin is not a robot and in fact a human being, there's a hundred more questions, most of them revolving around God and "why?". 

Postscript: 

Last month, Ben Bouren was named successor as pastor. 

I knew Ben Bouren back when he was a member. With allotted speaking opportunities, Ben was always sincere. A little awkward. But he had hope. The sermon I watched with Ben upon his coronation twenty years later, was a whiplash. Ben has become a damn good preacher upon his sincere love for people. And if anyone can actually resurrect a once great thing, it would be him.
I really hope for the best of my old church with Ben in charge.

Growing up, getting screamed at in sermons from Claudette and her side piece,, making up lies about elvis in a bathroom because daddy scammed a church.... Let me tell you about the beauty of depression:

You know you are not up to the agenda of what love requires. And instead of yelling about people and making up myths and enabling sexual predator youth pastors, you just accept the terrible sad fate, that you may in actuality, love people. You will not have a weird banner. You just have to accept banners for bad people. 

depression, was the excuse reported multiple times mind you, why claudette, paid and funded, was not at church.

We are talking decades.. and she is still talking about a video screen in the bathroom which was a damn lie. 

Let's be clear,  when Bishop Walker screams, it hurts your ears:

https://youtu.be/dW9aL2MDdCI?si=ivEPlaidGck87uYB&t=4310

But depression, is honestly empathetic.  Whereas Bishop walker and her husband are somehow allowed to preach with screaming arms about how much they care about running their church into a skeleton of a church that is embarrassing; and using a myth about elvis...

 depression, actually registers and gets anxious and worries and digs in with self-hate. Bishop walker told us about depression when I was fourteen. Little did I realize she wasn't wrong. She was confused. 

Literally had the idea one day as a junior in high school,...that she could have her own book in the bible. we are protestants after all and can create canon.  And Bishop dismissed me to the kitchen. Instead

"I didn't know what to do about the alter call"

"God gave me six directive things" 

She really thought bragging about Sis. Haney had currency.

She really thought she could deal with spirits.

"The Lord told me....well guess what saints"...

Bishop Walker is an astrologist and in denial of her own agency. Also she supports youth pastors who predate on the youth. And when she gets called out for how bad she was, she performed.  Bishop walker got on her knees and apologized. 

hashtag i watched a boring screaming sermon from bishop once when she was at the church of underwear pastor. 

 

https://youtu.be/dW9aL2MDdCI?si=Ygsc5Hm2SQ3LKIL3&t=5686

👊👀👧