Stuff Apostolics Like

Editor's Note: Glen Post! A little ditty to brighten your day... I can only base the following on one facility in one state, my home state, so bare with my narrow scope. Growing up in the Michigan District UPCI one of the highlights of my adolescence was the two hour drive across the state to the middle of East Jabip somewhere, to the ‘Ol Campground. A glorious beaut’ she was, settled just between Mayberry and Nowhere. I can’t be downwind of an outhouse today without being taken aback to summers getting shocked by the showerheads, sleeping on rusty beds, and the sweet aroma of Right Guard, Aussie and sweat. That’s just the beginning of the painting. I’m ‘bout to go Rembrandt in this mother... Our camp was a little bit Heavens Gate and a lotta bit Auschwitz. It sat on roughly 100 acres in a clearing between some railroad tracks and an old creek. It was built sometime between the invention of indoor plumbing and the founding of the Departmen...

ApoPento's excel at many fine activities in comparison to other Christians. One of them is crying. We love crying. We need it. It's an addiction. There are five times as many criers per capita within the UPC as there are in other denominations. Some call this the work of the Holy Ghost that other denominations do not experience because they don't have the Holy Ghost. Other, more optimistic people, call the excessive crying "catharsis." Others call this "being a cry baby." I call it: Being a cry baby with a Purpose! Feeling bad? How about an altar cry? Feeling good? Dance, and then cry after excessive energy use. Have you heard a song that says God wants to kiss you? Have a cry. Minor chords in the worship song? Close your eyes, look up to the ceiling and have a cry. Did you touch someone else inappropriately? Have an altar cry. Did someone touch you inappropriately? Have an altar cry and then blame the dude. Did you get caught doing something...