Stuff Apostolics Like

From day one when I started this blog, I had this post in mind. Why have I never touched it until now? Well firstly, I kind of forgot about it until Darwin reminded me of its rich rewards. Also, I was and am still overwhelmed by the amount of depth of information that is needed to report in order to give an accurate verdict. So much information that frankly, I don't think is able to be conveyed properly in a blog post - but whatever, there is no time like the present to commit a hijacking. Also, much of the information I present is in debt primarily to a book called One Bible Only: Examining Exclusive Claims for the King James Bible by Roy Beacham & Kevin Bauder which is written not just for the educated but also for the unlearned, and further I also rely heavily on the rhetoric by one of my spiritual schoolmasters, C.S. Lewis in his essay titled "Modern Translations of the Bible" found in the book God in the Dock. All that said, I will break this post into two o...

Editor's Note: Several weeks back, a person started following SAL's twitter. The person's name was "Slapastolic." And Their tweet's were of epic proportions. For example, some of my favorite tweets of theirs: " BREAKING NEWS: Unmarried bible college senior snaps when asked what her plans are for after college." and ": WPF leaders call for unity. :-/" Essentially, I realized Slapastolic was the Jerry Springer of apostolics to my Maury Povich, Galileo to my Copernicus,  Emerson to my Thoreau, Bob Dylan to my Pete Seeger, Joker to my Two-Face, Jimmy Page to my Robert Plant, David to my Jonathan?  Anyways, the point is these guys are the more rambunctious, less apologetic, and thusly way funnier version of SAL... (I say "these guys" because it's actually two guys who go by the names of Alfred and Bruce Wayne. I really don't know who these guys are). So naturally, I wanted more of their wit than what 1...

Another Stephany Miralez recommended Post: I once heard a preacher preach about how S-E-Xual magazine covers were getting at the party store. They recounted at how actresses are frequently seen in the nude with a prop covering the explicit parts of the body in such magazines as Rolling Stone, Vanity Fair, Better Homes and Garden, etc..... They lamented how difficult it must be for our generation of Apostolics to grow up in such a world. I thought to myself, "It's not their fault. It's ours! We can't blame the magazines for going to such extremes. We are the ones who forced the issue!" And here's what I mean....before everyone could illegally download a photoshop editor, the only people who were able to make pictures look sweet were the magazine companies. And now that we have acquired such technology, the magazine editors need to find a whole other angle to differentiate themselves: Half Nudity! But alas, the horror of technology is that its cost gets lower an...

Here's what is going to happen: Ryan Evans, our newest member of the SAL family (inducted as grammar nazi a few weeks back) is going to present his post about prayer cloths. I am going to post a point of rebuttal of sorts....that really gets more of the nuances of the thing.... Ryan Evans: Growing up in the Apo movement there are lots of things that we do that I never thought about - prayer cloths being one of them. The prayer cloth story usually goes something like this: "a friend, family member, boss, spouse etc., couldn't make it to service to be prayed for', so we call for the elders of the church to anoint a cloth and pray over it and the person interceding on behalf of the non-present individual in need of healing, deliverance, salvation, then takes the cloth to the person that needs it. Usually, that's the end of the matter. Sometimes we might hear a praise report, but most of the time, it's done. But lets fast forward a few years and look at a r...

It's been quite a long two weeks, but alas my schoolwork is on a pause and thus now can continue as desired on blogging nonsense...and the good news is, past recommender, Stephany "the Meritorious" Mirelez has provided some darling post suggestions to help aid the process (including this post). Hopefully, you have facebook. If you don't, stop reading this. It will make no sense. That said, it seems within the past year or so, people started posting their prayers over facebook. Little do the facebook prayer warriors realize that the first person to do this was a mute. But whatever the source of the facebook prayer may be, facebook prayers are becoming more and more a reality, and to properly process this cultural phenomenon we need to talk about it. First and most importantly we must ask, why. Some people appeal to facebook to inform of a prayer request in hopes that others will join in on the petitionary prayer. This is all right and well. But the reality is ...

 The 4 most important inventions of the Modern Era for apostolic churches: Insanely long personality tests that get you to realize nobody likes you. The idea that the few dollars you give to Sheaves for Christ not only somehow buys a missionary an entire car, but also that for every dollar you give you have an outside gambling chance that you'll get ten dollars back. (Here's the deal: How about I keep my money. And God gives the money he would have given to me as a reward, straight to the missionary, since the missionary needs it more?) The word "relationship" as a trump card to any and every discussion about anything regarding Christianity and holiness. It's going to be a close call to which term gets overused so much that it loses all cultural linguistic value within our circles: "Relationship" or "Swagger." Song lyric and Bible verse projector in church (And this is our focus) The value of the projector is priceless. It's most imp...

Oh the joys of a post-church service fellowship! All the more joy if it's a BYODFMC (Bring your own dish for Mass Consumption)! And ultimately 60% of these BYODFMC's will be various specimens of Pasta Salad.  Some people may claim some vestiges of racism within our movement , but such accusations are foolishness, when one considers are open-armed acceptance of all forms of pasta salad. Color, kind of pasta used, and stench of the salad matter not to us. We love them all! But as we make our way down the buffet of the entrees at the fellowship, the most important decision is that of which pasta salad we will choose to consume. While we welcome all races of pasta salad to the buffet line, it does not mean we will equally consider each pasta salad for consumption. I for instance am a sucker for a pasta salad with bacon in it. But it is the decision of which pasta salad we choose that is integral to our health and well-being. In Let's Make a Deal, an old 70's gameshow,...

61 To begin, that's a picture of the most popular target of "Is he or isn't he emergent?" One Mark Driscoll. And if you know anything about the man, or ever heard him speak or heard him try to rip Rob Bell to shreds, then you will know in fact that Driscoll is not emergent.  But there is a bigger issue up for a discussion. One that has literally changed the movement in 6 years flat. The issue is that of THE RELEVANT YOUTH PASTOR. In reality within the apostolic movement  means one thing: "I unapologetically wear jeans when I preach to the youth."  Ultimately  it is the relevant youth pastor that brings in the latest trends of fashionable Christianity. Most of which revolves around designing really cool looking logos on adobe photoshop for the newest preaching series that youth pastor is talking on. But sometimes it also revolves around a fauxhawk , plastic bracelets , having a twitter, retweeting T.F. Tenny quotes, Toms shoes, and Rob Bell styled gl...

Hey, guys if you get bored of the video here is the bottom line: 1. You will need to have a google ID to leave a comment. This means an end to anonymous comments. I am hoping our inference and reasoning skills make this painfully obvious why we are doing such things. If you don't have a google account (if you have a blogspot or gmail account, you are good to go), you can make one here by clicking this link (it will literally take you two seconds). New Comment Policy coming soon. Here is the unofficial one (courtesy of Chantell): 1. Ad hominem attacks against the bloggers, other commenters, specific people or institutions will not be tolerated. 2. Comments problematically unrelated to the subject at hand will not be tolerated. 3. As the creator and main facilitator of the site, I reserve the right to delete any comments you deem inappropriate (although this will be very rare especially considering the new changes). 4. Harassment or repeated violation of the commen...

Chantell has previously covered pants from a women's perspective (more specifically pajama bottoms) . I think it's high time to present the topic of pants from a man's perspective: First off, when I realized pants have not been discussed on this blog, I immediately went into shock. And then I did what anyone would do in regards to the topic of pants amongst apostolics: I thought of a parody. I quickly envisioned a rip off of the song  "Men in Black" by Will Smith , except the hook is changed to "Here comes the men in Paaaaants..."...but then I remembered I was lazy and I would also have to manipulate the verses as well. And then I would also have to make a video. That requires work. So I gave up.  So if any youth pastor is looking to make their youth group famous on Youtube that thousands of Apostolics will end up watching, make the above video I referenced. And just send me a link to the finished product. I will put it on this blog, and the winds of...