Stuff Apostolics Like

The Guilt You can already hear it. That altar-call plea for you to go out and bring in the sheaves. Because if you don't, on Judgment Day, your co-workers and your neighbors are going to look at you with wide-pleading eyes, demanding of you, "Why didn't you tell me I needed to speak in tongues to get here?!" Then you'll be left, shrugging your guilt-laden shoulders, hanging your head in shame because apparently, you were too ashamed of Jesus to recount Peter's Pentecost sermon to people. Think you're gonna hear "Well done thou good and faithful servant?" Guess again, playa. The best thing for you to do is start inviting people to church left and right to avoid gettin that spiritual blood on your hands. After all, the Bible says inviting people to church is the first step to saving their souls . . . oh, wait. The Glory High-five, dude! Bob from accounting finally gave in and got a taste of that Holy Ghost FI-ya! All those "If you don...

Wow. It's been a minute since I've lifted my fingers to post here, but, in an attempt to go back to that old landmark, and since we're talking about praise & worship, I figured I'd throw in my $0.02 (which actually costs more to produce than it's worth but . . . ah, well. Take it up with the US Mint.) In this conundrum we Aps have found ourselves in, this bitter divide between old-school and progressive (or shall I say "stick-in-the mud, divisive, legalistic curmudgeons" and "bitter, emergent, liberal compromisers"?) one of the many scads of issues up for grabs in an attempt to define who the Real Apostolics are is music. The more the music reminds you of them old time days, them days when C.R. Dinkleton (because all Real Apostolics have two initials before their last names) would preach up a dusty storm in the buggy heat and tarry in the brush arbor, the more likely you are to be ready when that trumpet sounds. The more the music rel...

There are situations and then there are Situations. I think we are dealing with the former here, but I could be wrong. Once upon a time, the Platform served as the facilitator of the distribution of Prestige within the Church. There was the Pastor. And then the elders. And then the Platform Musicians. While the spiritual demand was not nearly as high for the platform musicians, their place on the platform was a testament to the relentless Ego of men and women to claw their way to fame. If you don't know how to preach in the UPC, dont fear, because you can always  try and become a musician. There the stakes are much more glorious and far more violent than the tyranny to be a speaker. TO be a UPC musician does not mean you have to be called to it. All that's requested is that you have a drive to be a musical force.... I'm wandering. I will go back. I apologize. Okay, the point is the Praise Team Man..... At the likes of Bible Colleges and big churches, there is a ...

Alternative Title: Kind Suggestions for the female gender on securing that future husband at the ballroom melodramas of our organization (from the perspective of a male). #1-  No Circus Hats In spite of precedent this year, and by precedent I mean, Royal Weddings, there are no circumstances in here or in heaven that large and absurd hats would be permissible to wear. Especially when one is trying to keep a boyfriend or look for a boyfriend. Wearing absurd hats, much like absurd head pieces is a simple sign for us men that says "Future Cat Lady." There is a reason the USA revolted against the British almost 250 years ago. And I suspect funny hats are one of those reasons. Don't nullify our revolution ladies. Trust me, you will get our attention  if you wear weird hats to church, but the strare you will receive from us will have nothing to do with a desire to talk to you. Rather we stare at you to burn you at the sake. #2- Don't obsess over what you wear. We...

Video to prepare for Youth Congress, on the Eve of Youth Congress.... (more posts coming in coming days about youth congress)...