Stuff Apostolics Like

Editor's Note: Welcome to my only post in the month of December. But know that much of my chaos that has stopped me from posting much is officially complete. And I got some tutu parties to talk about and other fun topics like speaking in tongues.. . Here is my favorite Christmas song. Sufjan Stevens-"Come on! Let's boogey to the elf dance!" (yes it's as fun as it sounds) I hate movies or plays that paint Nativities as some Hallmark Moment (see above). You know the ones. Where Jesus is the center of attention. There are glorious lights from Heaven shining down on the Baby Jesus like light beams that give you the illusion that either the Baby is about to be abducted by a UFO tractor beam or (and more likely) the reverse is occurring whereby the UFO light-beam has deposited perfect, pretty, white baby Jesus in his comfortable manger as he lays rested. Outside of the amazing lighting provided by the scene, you get the animals staring at the Baby Jesus like t...

For those who don't know, that's Taylor Swift. I actually don't really like Taylor Swift, but I figured her picture would do for this post. I have decided that Joel’s rants about women are usually quite legitimate and understandable…but they are rather one-sided...plus, I feel the need to defend all the ladies. Hence this post. I had my hopes and dreams shattered at a very young age. I was all of the age of nine (or thereabouts) when I was told I could not carry a tune. Ah! At the time, this made no impression, but I was to soon learn that was the ultimate cause of all my failures in life…and would be the ultimate reason why I would never find an Apostolic mate. You see, in Apostolic World where I grew up, being able to sing is one of the Unspoken Commandments. Much like having an amazing wardrobe and naturally awesome hair, the ability to sing is coveted by all and, I have to admit, possessed by many. Except me. I am the ultimate failure, the one mistake God created! He...

First off, I would like to thank Joel for allowing me to ramble on his blog. He took a big leap of faith in letting me do this, and I appreciate it. Second, I would like to begin making my excuses (of course!). It’s finals week(s) and I am a senior in college. If I were in high school, none of this would matter to me. But since my GPA actually does count now, I’m devoting my life to what’s left of my studies. Therefore, my time is going to be filled with notes and books and other awful nightmare-ish things that take precedence above everything else. Long story short, I’m holding off on writing until I throw my cap in the air. (12 more days!) But before I temporarily hiatus, I have another post in the bag. (Note: I hesitated about this post. Not because it's highly controversial or anything but because it's one of the many gray-standards-issues that I don't really quite understand... and thus am compelled to write about.) Today’s topic has to do with the fascinating and de...

Editor's Note: Ladies and Gentlemen, a new blogger, Marissa Cooney. Give her a warm, round of applause as she writes during these horrid days when i have no time to write (I have topics I swear!).  Also any other people who want to blog for the site? e-mail me with sample article.  (a side note: I do not know the girl in the picture. It most definitely is not me. But I do know some girls who would wear her tights. Nay, they would ENVY her those...glorious leg coverings.) Today’s weather calls for hibernation. However, given that this is a civilized, capitalistic society that requires all its members to enter the world and produce something, hibernation is not a viable option for the American. So despite there being a teenage temperature outside (ha – who am I kidding? I’m from Texas and this happens maybe twice in a decade) all of us (from the North) have to face the cold…including…wait for it…the female Pentecostal. OH, THE HORROR. Faced with an unrelenting dedication to mo...

Okay, sidenotes-it looks like we may be adding another blogger here shortly (this means the posts should be more frequent...give me two weeks of spontaneous 1-2 posts a week and we should be up and ready back to the usual 3-4 posts a week...apologies for the stagnation...excuses: School, Work, Females, etc...) Also let me preface by saying I may have done a post similar to this a long time ago, but i couldn't find it if I did. Post: What is up with the Apostolic Infatuation of this strange "other-world" wherein if we prepare ourselves for by adding proper Holy supplements to our lifestyle (e.g. prayer, Bible, etc...), then we will be rewarded by God a la an all-expenses paid vacation (On Him) to go "deeper" with Him. Seriously, the earlier parts of my 12-15 year old awkward stage were seen by me trying my hardest to go deeper with this obsessive reality of "GUYS, GET YOUR JUNK TOGETHER! WE'RE GOING DEEPER, AND IF YOU AINT ON BOARD, YOU'RE PART...

First, this post was recommended by Laura Del Vescio . We should all be thankful to her. She used her own life as a testament to the following argument (well parts of it)..... Secondly, one of the greatest features of our movement is the admiration of blooming romances of loving young ones amongst our movement. The hand holding, the cute picture on facebook (with a photo album dedicated to the two in love), the overly-involved in-laws to be (Are not the apostolics the worst at the concept that when you date someone you are also dating their family?)..... The thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars spent for the Apostolic wedding in the name of the bride wanting to have a "wedding to remember" which will be forgotten except for the photo album that the bride/groom spent 300 dollars on that will sit under their couch and be looked upon by the Apostolic wife who mourns the loss of such happiness as the wedding and in this mourning takes out the wedding album secre...

Preface: If I hear you preach about post-modernism or do a conference or seminar on it. PLEASE KNOW ABOUT IT BEYOND READING ABOUT IT FROM A CHRISTIAN BOOK YOU GOT FROM THE BOOK STORE.  or you will risk me, the cynical post-modern throwing a pew in your general direction... *Wink Face*  We can preach about loving our neighbor and embracing difference. We can have a discussion about shorts and movie theaters and no one will get hurt. But the moment standards or disciplines are discussed (hair, skirts, etc....) we tense up. That is not up for negotiation. Because standards (or what may be called "holiness" so that when we go to discuss standards, it looks like we are attacking holiness, and who wants that?) are too certain to be up to be discussed. God likes standards. Why would we want to upset God? Right, who wants to upset God? But that's not what we didn't like. We didn't like the attacks. Because we had questions. Because we were showing uncertainty about t...