Monday, February 15, 2010

#121-The "Poof"

 (note: I have tried refraining from doing this post because I thought it was my opinion alone that hated these things, but after upwards of 3 e-mails in recent months (most recently Stephany Mirelez) , I have realized I am not alone in hatred of the trend of the Poof)

Although this was before my time,  I have had several conversations with females from the 80's and early 90's  who looked at pictures of their hairstyle from back then at the pictures would look something like this:


And inevitably the response from the daughter of the 80's/early 90's is "WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE WE THINKING?" They then recall how they were so positive they were being stylish and trendy at the time. But what once was a style is now considered vomit in the next generation....

And ladies and gentlemen, there is a pandemic in Apostolic circles right now that is being counted as righteousness in apostolic circles. It's called the hair poof :
(Note that as I perused my facebook friend's photo section, almost everyone of them had a photo of themselves with a "poof" similar to that above...but i didn't want to lose friendship over this post so I posted pictures of non-apostolic girls).....

And mark my words...5 years from now (hopefully 3 months from now), you females will be looking at pictures of yourselves with this bumps from hell and be wondering "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?"

I have heard rumors that in the 70's apostolic women would put oatmeal boxes in their head and wrap their hair around the boxes to create the necessary trendy effect of a poof the size of Mt. Everest....I would have thought we would have learned from these mistakes of our past....

But thanks so such convenient tools as the bump-its:
Anyone can put these mysterious balls of hair aka the poof on their head....

And we are not satisfied with these hair tumors in the back of our head like most, but rather it is much more trendy to put the poof in the front of the hairdo.....


For the first few months after these hair tumors came out, I was convinced there was something going on inside these poofs....

Like were females trying to hide a tennis ball or football inside their head just in case they found themselves wanting to take part in a spontaneous game of tennis and/or football?

Perhaps these females were hiding contraband in their hair or devil's paint (make-up) in their head...for surely where is the last place someone would look for sin than within one's glory?

but no...the answer was not that anything useful was going on in these storage facilities....

Rather quite the opposite...The poofs are generally as empty internally as the souls of the "poof-perpetrators" themselves...

Here's a hint lady, if your hair trend models after either Snookie or a bunch of polygamists, you probably need to stop:

(pictured above left: Snookie...pictured above Right: polygamists)

Seriously, the quicker this trend of "the Poof dies" the quicker I can get onto writing a post about leggings....


  1. Joel,
    I can't believe you missed the obvious conclusion that these hair styles are straight from Hollywood and we all know what a "slippery slope" that is!! As someone who was a teenager in the 80s I've seen, worn, and been embarassed of more hair styles than I can remember. (I remember Farrah Fawcet inspired "feathering" - yikes!) Unfortunately we ladies won't heed your humble, heart felt advice.

  2. LOL! I JUST bought one of those bump it kits at the dollar store!!! HAHAHA! Problem is I can't figure out how to work it! One hairstyle that I HATE is the crooked buns on the one side of the head! Write a post about that to with the leggings!!!

  3. So in other words you're saying you hate IBC...

    1. Hahahaha! I can say that Calvary/IBC has some awesome poofs sometimes! I like the poof :)

  4. Before one of my friends rats me out as a hypocrite, I have to confess to partaking in poofs... and crooked buns for that matter! :) But no leggings. I do hate on AND abstain from leggings. Hair trends... I just hate on :)

  5. How about these ridiculous rolls of hair that everyone is doing as well? Like weird curl things all down the head. Not that this wasn't a good post, it was. Just certainly not all inclusive of the hair madness. I submit: poofs, weird curl pinned thingys, side buns.

  6. Unfortunately 80% of the bloggers on S.A.L are male, and don't really know how to dissect the various styles in the apo movement. While we are aware, and mostly disgusted, by the ridiculous hair styles, we don't typically have the female fashion prowess necessary to analyze and classify the styles.

    Suffice it to say we do have a position and that position is this:

    99% of apo girls hair looks completely ridiculous. We realize that with such a large amount of hair, due to being uncut, the ladies are forced to try and think up new, edgy ways to do their hair, and to that we say this: stop. You just look weird. Really. We feel like we could have accomplished the same look by rolling your head around in cooking oil and pulling you through a car wash in a red ryder wagon. All we care about is that it's clean and doesn't smell. If it fits that criteria you're a winner.

  7. Amen Bro. The KISS principle (aka Keep It Simple Stupid) is always a good one and there is not much simpler than letting the hair hang down the back.

  8. Either way you look like you did your hair with butter.

  9. but what if it tends to give a look of elongating the face and if done right gives you and overall better symmetrical look but not as if one is from the Jersey Shore? ;) haa haa

  10. Just had to say that this post gave me a good laugh :o) Back in the early '90s, I had one of the hairdos pictured above, and when I tried to wear the "poof" a few months back, my hubby thought it was terrible, too. Must be a guy thing! Needless to say, the poof only last a day, and my hubby is thrilled, LOL. Thanks for the laugh!

  11. Hahaha....what you men do not know is that all the women despise and find contemptible the lazy female soul who just let's her "glory" lay there all lank and unattended. She is considered a shame to our sex, unworthy of her femininity. Please, if we can't wear warpaint and adorn ourselves with gold, let us at least have our elaborate hairstyle with which to attract you all.

  12. Alas, I am one of those lazy females that is a shame to my sex and unworthy of my feminity as I often wear my hair down or in the "bun-head" style :D
    Having grown up in the 80s I don't consider the hair bump to be a real poof. I don't wear my hair that way, but I consider the bump a huge improvement over the monstrosity of the real poof, a curled, teased wall or wave sprouting up from the forehead. One of my worst childhood memories is of being a ~10 year old letting my friend give me a poof for a banquet, I think. It was 4 inches high and about 5 thick of solid curled and teased hair. It kind of reminded me of the barbwire barricades the military sometimes uses. I was traumatized and knew I looked ridiculous. On the other hand that occurance did save me from years of poofing my hair... so maybe it was for the best :D

  13. ROFL @ the two posts above me! Oh, wow... yes, now the proverbial cat is out of the bag. Oh the contempt for long hair left down! And doesn't it seems like it's permissible for a YOUNG woman to do so at church (provided she spends hours curling it and fashioning some red-carpet-worthy creation on top) but not so for an OLDER woman? Correct me if I'm wrong here...

    Love the barricade comparison - never thought of it, but it's truly a perfect analogy!

  14. Lol There really is a poof revolution in apostolic circles.