Skip to main content

#242 - Calling Contemporary Worship Music "Jesus Is My Boyfriend Music."

Wow. It's been a minute since I've lifted my fingers to post here, but, in an attempt to go back to that old landmark, and since we're talking about praise & worship, I figured I'd throw in my $0.02 (which actually costs more to produce than it's worth but . . . ah, well. Take it up with the US Mint.)

In this conundrum we Aps have found ourselves in, this bitter divide between old-school and progressive (or shall I say "stick-in-the mud, divisive, legalistic curmudgeons" and "bitter, emergent, liberal compromisers"?) one of the many scads of issues up for grabs in an attempt to define who the Real Apostolics are is music.

The more the music reminds you of them old time days, them days when C.R. Dinkleton (because all Real Apostolics have two initials before their last names) would preach up a dusty storm in the buggy heat and tarry in the brush arbor, the more likely you are to be ready when that trumpet sounds.

The more the music relies on acoustic guitar and the lyrics include silly references to Jesus as a lover and wonderful savior who kisses the earth and rains down His warm and fuzzy mercy and mushy grace and blessings, the more likely you're on your way to you-know-where in a you-know-what. Or at least on the road to compromising. And ooh, Lordy. If you're a Real Apostolic, you wouldn't want that. No siree.

Comments

  1. The song that comes to mind is:

    I want to sit at your feet
    drink from the cup in your hand
    lay back against you and breathe
    feel your heart beat

    I get the first line, sit at His feet, but then it gets a little weird. Drink from the cup in His hand? Lay back against Him and breathe? I'm probably thinking of it too literally, as I'm sure it just means that I want to partake of the things He has for me and also I want to be able to relax in His presence. But if I think about it literally while we're singing it at church...I get sidetracked.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, that's a great example. I do prefer the contemporary stuff, personally, but I gotta admit the lyrics sometimes get a little too touchy feely, hence "Jesus is my boyfriend." LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Singer... We call that one the chubby girl's worship song. "drink from the cup in your hand, eat from the bag of fritos in your lap..." HAHA

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#150-Holy Magic Hair (sort of)

Preface: As with many posts, the claims made in this post are far from being definitive to the whole apostolic movement. In fact I has been very surprised and pleased with the openness of many apostolic officials and higher ups to denounce the doctrine of "magic hair" as a heresy in recent months. It must also be noted that whatever controversy may be derived from this post, the thoughts are not really my own. Many men more articulate and intelligent than I have already tried to openly combat this theory and have done so in a far more effective fashion than I could. For the most comprehensive understanding of Holy magic hair, please visit  http://holymagichair.com/wordpress/ . Also note that this is not a criticism anyway in uncut hair, nor is it advocating hair cutting. I'm critiquing a doctrine that has developed around long hair. Okay, when I originally started SAL, I had a post about HMH (holy magic hair) in mind. However, after a beloved teacher of mine spoke o...

#280-Jeff Arnold and His "Idiot" Friends.

So basically this happened last week at Because of the Times (no, not the Kings of Leon album, but the preacher's conference that was named after the album): And by "this happened" I really mean a Jeff Arnold sermon-rant to formally announce his senility. Literally, the dude was Khrushchev slamming his shoe on a podium, a rambling Richard Sherman in a postgame interview, a conservative Michael "Shame on you Mr. Bush" Moore at the Oscars. In short, Jeff Arnold pulled a Kanye in front of anyone who matters in the UPC. And it's not like we didn't see it coming . For those who haven't been paying attention to Twitter or simply got wise enough to not really care one iota about the ongoing Reality TV tragicomedy that is the UPC, let me tell ya, you're missing a whole lot of chuckle moments. But to catch you up to speed.. here's the run-down of Mr. Arnold's sermon: -Confesses aspirations to be lauded by God as one of the greatest ...

#160-Pants

Chantell has previously covered pants from a women's perspective (more specifically pajama bottoms) . I think it's high time to present the topic of pants from a man's perspective: First off, when I realized pants have not been discussed on this blog, I immediately went into shock. And then I did what anyone would do in regards to the topic of pants amongst apostolics: I thought of a parody. I quickly envisioned a rip off of the song  "Men in Black" by Will Smith , except the hook is changed to "Here comes the men in Paaaaants..."...but then I remembered I was lazy and I would also have to manipulate the verses as well. And then I would also have to make a video. That requires work. So I gave up.  So if any youth pastor is looking to make their youth group famous on Youtube that thousands of Apostolics will end up watching, make the above video I referenced. And just send me a link to the finished product. I will put it on this blog, and the winds of...