#102-The Platform

Let's get it right. It's 'platform.' God forbid if anyone were the victim of a Freudian slip and let 'stage' come out instead. 'Stage' implies that the Holy of Holies of this dispensation is nothing more than a place to allow centrally located carnality to reign. That instead of it being an elevated, anointed chunk of the sanctuary for the purest of worship to spring forth for the glorification of God, it's a place for people to put on an entertaining show for the glorification of themselves. And that's a no-no. ::shudders at the egregiousness of mistaking The Platform for a mere stage::

There are several observations I'd like to make with respect to Apostolics and their relationship with The Platform:

1. There is a difference between Regular Standards and Platform Standards.

Ma'am, you wanna come to church wearing a skirt so short that it reveals the beginnings of your kneecaps? That's all right. You can even sign up to be a Sunday School teacher with a guilt-free conscience. Flaunting slivers of kneecap is okay for Sunday School teachers because they fall within the realm of Regular Standards. But do you think you're going to set one high-heeled foot on The Platform to sing? Psshht. Girl, saddown! A sliver of kneecap = the lowest form of debauchery on The Platform. Kneecap slivers send the wrong message when you're on The Platform. We're supposed to be representing Christ up there, for crying out loud! Sir, you wanna come to church sans tie? That's fine and dandy. You can even help out in the sound booth since nobody pays attention to you back there anyway. Regular Standards are fine back there. But do you have service leader aspirations? Fool, saddown! Without a tie, you can't even think about The Platform. We're supposed to be ambassadors for Christ, for goodness sake. And have you ever seen an ambassador without a tie on? Hellooo? Didn't think so.

2. Though the Church belongs to God, The Platform belongs to the Pastor.

Sample of Pastor Smith's Sunday night message:

"We are the Church-ah! This ain't Pastor Smith's church-ah! This is Gawd's church-ah! It belongs to HIM! And He's comin back for his Bride-ah! A church without spot or blemish-ah!"

5 minutes later . . .

"Now, you can't come before Gawd Almighty just any ol' way. There are some churches out here -- even UPC churches, in our own organization! -- who let their people get up here carnal and in the flesh wearing jeans and open-collared shirts like they're goin' to a barbecue. But not on MY platform, no sir!"

3. The Platform is not a place to play around on.

After church, there are two kinds of kids: the ones who are required to stick by their parents, rain or shine, and the ones who are allowed to run free. Though the No Fun Police inevitably tut-tut the free spirits as they roughhouse in the sanctuary and play hide-and-seek between the pews, the general church populace usually tolerates them with slight smiles and knowing head shakes. But if one of the free runners is observed taking their playfulness onto The Platform, a collective gasp is heard. We all know that post-church platform trespassing is the first step on the road to backsliding. Observing such a travesty brings out the No Fun Police in us all.

Moses, prostrate before the burning bush, tread holy ground. Apostolics, those who are up to par, tread The Platform.