Monday, December 7, 2009

#103-Praying to God to send you "the one."

There's famous motion picture entitled The Matrix which has Neo, the main character, discovering if he is the long awaited "One" that the world has been waiting for to set it free from bondage. Most people equate Neo to a messiah of sorts, but I see Neo as a symbol of something more realistic in all of our lives...Here's a conversation that I will base my theory on:

Neo: What is happening to me?
Morpheus: You are the One, Neo. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you. 

Neo, in the Matrix is a symbol for that future spouse we and our parents have all been praying for since our youth...
Okay, well I gotta feeling that this post applies more to apostolic females than apostolic males, but I am sure we all love praying to the good Lord to send us "The One" unless of course we have already found him/her...

To use an example I am going to out my older sister a bit (she does frequent this blog)....

Well when my older sis got married, my mother was head over heels...because Apostolic mothers want nothing more than to see their child pass on those apostolic genes to their grandchildren through the bonding of an apostolic male and apostolic female in holy matrimony....
And apostolic mothers OBSESS over this stuff....And what do i mean obsess?

Well you know when your parents teach you to do your bedtime prayers? Like thanking God, and repenting for your sins, and what not? Well at the age of 5 my mother started incorporating the praying for my sister's future husband bit as required segment of my sister's bedtime prayers....(and my mother's own prayers as well)...

It was a huge deal....

so then when my sister  got that ring on her finger ("if you like it you should put a ring on it!") from a delightful apostolic man, my mother got to exclaim to anyone that would listen that she had been praying for him since my older sister was 5 years old.

Oh what a testimony!

But my sister's testimony is not an exception amongst apostolics....It's the rule.....

For now adays before we are to learn to pray as teeny-tiny children, our parents are interceding to the Lord to send us "the One."

Except there is a downside to this whole thing of trust in Godly providence....

The females start getting visions in their head when they perform these nightly prayers...

Priority number 1: He needs to be a preacher.
Priority number 2: He needs to look like this:
Priority number 3: He needs to have a sense of humor.
Priority number 4: He needs to be good looking (uhhh....wait...i already said that? well let's put it in again to be safe)
Priority number 5: He should not have to "pass gas" ever.
Priority number 6: He needs to have a good walk with God
Priority number 7: He needs to be able to cry during the Notebook....

Well, the good news for us guys is once this vision is created in the head of the confused adolescent, it's all compromise from there!

And all the guys are asking for  is:
Priority number 1: A female who is okay with us passing gas in front of them

well that and everything that is described of a good wife in Proverbs 31, such as...

"13 She selects wool and flax 
       and works with eager hands.
 14 She is like the merchant ships,
       bringing her food from afar.

 15 She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.

 16 She considers a field and buys it;
       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

 17 She sets about her work vigorously;
       her arms are strong for her tasks.

 18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
       and her lamp does not go out at night."

 I do question at times that in regards to a future husband/wife, that some of us are pursuing God for the purpose of Him to be our divine matchmaker...

And this is all swell...but the difficulty can come when God doesn't send us "The One" at the exact time we want, or doesn't provide the kind of "One" that meets up to our expectations...

And when this happens...well, it must be God's will that we look elsewhere to find that "One." As Abraham sent his servant back to Nahor to find "the One" for his we must find "the One" in other pastures...

Or you could always go the other route, and just let God's chosen "One" for you mutate and transform to coincidently fit the exact profile of the New Church Girl/Guy at your church/nearby church that you just met at a youth rally....


  1. HAHAHAHA!!! OKAAAAY...FIRST of all...who is that guy you hav up for an example in that pic?! CAUSE that is SOOOOO NOT my definition of CUTE or anything!!! LOL (NO offense to whoever that is!I feel bad sayin that!!!)NEXT- I soooooooooooo pray for my future mate!!! LOL NEXT- Did you ever read the book THE ONE? Cause it soooo sounds like it!! Next Priority #5 I hav three brothers SOOOOOOO...I KNOW!!! I seriousley feel sooooo bad for my sis-in-law at times!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  2. Ms. Frances, that is no one other then EDWARD CULLEN from effing "Twilight"....Joel, i feel that you only say these things because of your current marital status (non-existent). I believe you are still pleading that God may send you someone who will embark upon the many journeys God has for you, or better yet, fart louder then you. But until then get over it. Being alone is ok. God will send your "one".

  3. el Maestro, while I admire your cavilier spirit to tackle the psychological issues of the author, I am hesitant to agree with you. First off, I still believe females have cuddies. Second off, I am still trying to recover from the fact that some politicians had that audicity to give women the right to vote. I for one am against women's suffrage. If I were to marry one of them, I would be validating their existance.

    Sir, I suppose in some sense there is an innate longing in my post for God to send me the one...but until she is ready to abide by the language and spirit of I Timothy 2:11-12, wherein a women fully submits, learns in quietness, and remains silent in church, I will happily remain self-sufficient.

  4. Older sister correction, mom says she started praying for my future spouse when I was 10 not 5! I for one am thankful she did! I wholeheartedly believe that her prayers played a part in God protecting Andy and sparing his life! And let's be honest, he is the only boyfriend I EVER brought home that you liked, so somebody must have prayed for you to give your seal of approval! BTW, I do still enjoy reading this blog although sometimes I do think it qualifys as a guilty pleasure!

  5. I feel you bro!

    So much focus on if that's the end all meaning of life...coupling and reproduction?...that's the big bang to someone's life?

    I don't see you as anti-marriage as much as anti all about marriage (i.e. life revolving around romantic relationships)...and if that's the case...

    You're the words of the great charismatic poet of our time, Jon Foreman:

    "We were meant to live for so much more..."

  6. Joel,
    IF Your gonna say we hav em spell it right!!! It's COOTIES!!! LOL
    No the guy that Joel said all the girls want their guy to look like-are they both from that? Not that either are cute...

  7. I don't know what's funnier. The original post or your response to El Maestro.

    Funny stuff!

  8. Shannon, my bad. 10 instead of 5 is a big difference. I am not saying the prayers did not help, for assuredly Andy was a fantastic divine choice of husbandry by our Lord and savior to you.

    Stanton, you summed up the points of the post better than I ever could

    Mary, "cooties"...I really had no idea how to spell it. Apologies.

    And Rachel, I was dead serious in my response to el Maestro. If this was church, I'd be accusing you of sin for talking during it.

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  10. I only gave the spellin correction cause it took me like five minutes to figure out what cuddies were!!! :)

  11. I literally chuckled loudly at this post! Mission accomplished. Thanks for being my entertainment for the day!

  12. Hey you should go read this... It backs you up.. You actually kind of sound like him. (that's a compliment).