Thursday, December 17, 2009

#105-Cardboard Testimonies

For those who do not know what cardboard testimonies are...find someone who sends tons of e-mail forwards of anything that resembles anything inspirational in a Christian sense...

If you still don't have such e-mail this video provided by our mothership of a church...the Pentecostals Of Alexandria...

For a better resolution version of the video from a church of a different breed, please visit... If you're church hasn't had this happen at your church, please show this video to your pastor and demand action. It is only you who has such power....(it's happened at my church of 102 people).

And seriously, dare I say this is one of most brilliant inventions of Christian culture mash-up madness ever?

First notice the background's usually the same song in every one of those videos...."How He Loves Us" which can be read about in more specific details here. But in summary the song is so inspiring in it's lyrical beauty and harmonious symmetry that even Charles Darwin himself would probably cry in hearing this song in spite of his atheism.

Second, is more of a question...what is the significance of the cardboard? Anyone got a clue? I mean it is tantamount to the whole process....It's has even a 50% stake in the title ownership of the thing...Why not "Dry Erase Board Testimonies?" Because I hate the feeling of drawing on cardboard with marker. It's one level short in my mind of scratching your fingernails against a chalkboard.

Third, with the musicians playing their song to the fullest capabilities, the cardboard testimonies allow for all those who are envious of the musicians' spotlight on the platform week after week to have their own 5 second of fame on the platform, and they do not even have to have a microphone to their face! What brilliant strategy...

Lastly, and perhaps most obvious, the concept involves personal testimonies. And if you have been in this pentecostal tradition for any amount of time, you know the power and popularity of testimonies. Go no further than our most recent youth congress or General Conference, where 4 services combined were dedicated to simply telling testimonies of others (although if I had a voice, it got kind of monotonous after a while and eventually  the testimonies kind of lose some of their impact after seeing and hearing about several dozen in a row).

All in all Cardboard Testimonies is so perfect in it's effectiveness in church because it combines two of the most emotional heavy trends in our church: "How He Loves Us" and personal testimonies. A cardboard testimony is bound to conclude in emotional cataclysmic awesomeness.

(Special thanks to one of my favorite online friends, who I have never met, Hayden Foster for this recommendation.)


  1. We did this at my church and it was SOOOO funny cause my friend's sign said DAUGHTER OF CRACK ADDICT then she turned it over and it said DAUGHTER OF THE KING---Except she turned it upside it was like Ummmmm...looks like we're still seein the effects of that eh?! LOL IT was REALLY funny!!! I should post pics!!

  2. Hmmm...I guess I missed out on this one. Actually, when I saw the name, I was thinking more along the lines of:
    "Praise the Lord, saints! Praise the Lord, saints!!! First, giving honor to God, who is the head of my life, and to my pastor, my spiritual shepherd. When I think of the goodness of Jesus, and aaaaaalll He has done for me, my SOUL cries out HAALLELUJAH! Praise God for saving me!! Pray my strength in the Lord."
    Or some other similarly hollow and completely scripted "testimony". I must be getting cynical.

  3. Joel, I'm a fan! Your posts make me laugh-very clever

  4. Aside from the deeply moving "How He Loves Us" and the testimony itself, that we may not have known about the person; the best feature of Cardboard Testimonies for anyone that has been in a normal testimony service is that each cardboard testimony is about 5 seconds long. Read where their life was and flip to be amazed by God's faithfulness and life changing power because this is where they're at now.
    A 5 second testimony! Why that's like the 30 minute offering HM took up 2 years ago at Conference!