Skip to main content

#107-Spoons/Mafia- AKA Socially Constructed group mechanisms to help us flirt

So I just got back from my own district's holiday youth convention...

There were four observations (only one of which will be discussed at length):

 1)Someone pointed out to me that with the bombarding of elevators all of us pentecostals do at the beginning and end of services at these conventions/conferences, the elevators become ridiculously overcrowded. This person posited that we should propose the banning of mixed-gendered elevator riding in consideration of the vast amounts touching that is inevitable in these lengthy elevator rides.

2) Neo-McCarthyism is alive and well in our ranks. Complete with a reminder that what some of those heretics consider "a new way" is nothing new at all. It is then asserted that the speaker has been around for a long time and the "new way" is old and comes up again every ten years or so.

3) There is nothing that draws an apostolic audience into a sermon more than having the preacher stop his talking point mid-sentence, look over the crowed and walk away from the pulpit to emphasize that what he is saying is intended to be very important and climactic.

4) Games to kill the boredom during conferences during the late hours of the night...which also allow for flirtatious undertones without the awkwardness....


One of these group games that is played at conventions/youth group game nights is called mafia. If you do not know about it, I apologize. It is a kind of detailed specific game so I won't even attempt to retell them here. Just know kids love it, and it is kind of cool, and people die in it.

(read more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mafia_(party_game))


The other popular group game at such events is called Spoons...

It revolves around cards, plastic spoons, and perhaps most suspiciously, it includes a lot of hand touching....

So much hand touching I refuse to play it...

And it's allowed at your conventions and conferences....

If you want to know where sin starts between male and female, it is not in the backseat of the teenage boy's car....

it starts at youth convention in a game of spoons and one hand slapped of a male upon the hand of another innocent apostolic female...

EndNote: Apologies for the lack of posts lately....Some of you readers may know (or not know) that I am a full time long-distance student at UGST (urshan graduate school of theology)...and 3 times a year I have to travel to St. Louis for short term courses that are still really intense....and before you go to St. Louis you have to basically cram a semester's worth of papers and book reading into 4 weeks...so I am in the heart of reading/paper writing darkness right now....will post when I find the time....


MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Happy New Year....

I know I have offended many and have been liked by even less, but I have really enjoyed doing this blog for the last 4 months and getting to read your suggestions and talk with you via e-mail/comments....


And now here is me in my ugly christmas sweater...and also after my decision to retire from smiling in photographs...

Comments

  1. I guess I'm one of the few that hasn't been offended by any of it. Keep up the great work on a very enjoyable blog!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy New Year! Now where is our post on watch night services?!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just discovered your blog and really enjoy it! I am surprised I did not see a post on footwashing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is the most true post you have put up. =)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I LOVE mafia and I LOVE your sweater!!! It really is SOOOOOO UGLY!!! LOL

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#150-Holy Magic Hair (sort of)

Preface: As with many posts, the claims made in this post are far from being definitive to the whole apostolic movement. In fact I has been very surprised and pleased with the openness of many apostolic officials and higher ups to denounce the doctrine of "magic hair" as a heresy in recent months. It must also be noted that whatever controversy may be derived from this post, the thoughts are not really my own. Many men more articulate and intelligent than I have already tried to openly combat this theory and have done so in a far more effective fashion than I could. For the most comprehensive understanding of Holy magic hair, please visit  http://holymagichair.com/wordpress/ . Also note that this is not a criticism anyway in uncut hair, nor is it advocating hair cutting. I'm critiquing a doctrine that has developed around long hair. Okay, when I originally started SAL, I had a post about HMH (holy magic hair) in mind. However, after a beloved teacher of mine spoke o...

#280-Jeff Arnold and His "Idiot" Friends.

So basically this happened last week at Because of the Times (no, not the Kings of Leon album, but the preacher's conference that was named after the album): And by "this happened" I really mean a Jeff Arnold sermon-rant to formally announce his senility. Literally, the dude was Khrushchev slamming his shoe on a podium, a rambling Richard Sherman in a postgame interview, a conservative Michael "Shame on you Mr. Bush" Moore at the Oscars. In short, Jeff Arnold pulled a Kanye in front of anyone who matters in the UPC. And it's not like we didn't see it coming . For those who haven't been paying attention to Twitter or simply got wise enough to not really care one iota about the ongoing Reality TV tragicomedy that is the UPC, let me tell ya, you're missing a whole lot of chuckle moments. But to catch you up to speed.. here's the run-down of Mr. Arnold's sermon: -Confesses aspirations to be lauded by God as one of the greatest ...

#160-Pants

Chantell has previously covered pants from a women's perspective (more specifically pajama bottoms) . I think it's high time to present the topic of pants from a man's perspective: First off, when I realized pants have not been discussed on this blog, I immediately went into shock. And then I did what anyone would do in regards to the topic of pants amongst apostolics: I thought of a parody. I quickly envisioned a rip off of the song  "Men in Black" by Will Smith , except the hook is changed to "Here comes the men in Paaaaants..."...but then I remembered I was lazy and I would also have to manipulate the verses as well. And then I would also have to make a video. That requires work. So I gave up.  So if any youth pastor is looking to make their youth group famous on Youtube that thousands of Apostolics will end up watching, make the above video I referenced. And just send me a link to the finished product. I will put it on this blog, and the winds of...