Also in an informal survey of 4 apostolic young men within the house that I am sitting in at this moment, one of them defined two specific plans for their wedding (small and in a tropical setting) meaning that if this terribly thought out survey was demonstrative of the men in our movement, 25% of the males enjoy planning their wedding.
But essentially, unmarried apostolic ladies love thinking about, talking about, reading about, and watching tv shows about weddings. For proof ask teenage girls in your church what plans they have for their wedding and your ear will be talked off about various styles of wedding dresses, best season for a wedding, and the colors that theme their wedding.
While this topic demands a much deeper investigatory process by more skilled sociologists than I, I will still attempt to engage my thinking apparatus to bestow on you faithful readers what I think are some serviceable explanations for the topic at hand:
#1-Apostolics girls in general are not allowed the same freedoms in their surroundings as secular girls. Meaning: There are restrictions to the amount of fun apostolic girls can have. Their world (for better or worse) becomes entertaining in and only in sleepovers, youth ralleys, bowling alleys, and mall. There is also a massive acceptance of Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, The Notebook, and It's a Wonderful Life within our movement. The theme to all these motion pictures is that the climax of life comes in a romance that goes on happily ever after under the Godly approved institution of marriage.
It can then be inferred that in a young apostolic female's mind two things are occurring growing up: Life is not as fun as a Christian single teenage girl (while they may enjoy their life, it can be repetitive and monotonous). And secondly, that according to the movies, this mundane life comes to a close through romance where our hearts burst open to another human beings own reciprocal eros love. Therefore, it is in the wedding that their life of boredom ends, and their life of "happily ever after" begins. This explains why weddings are so important to apostolic girls but it is insufficient in it's explanation of why so much planning goes on with the weddings (even years in advance).
-#2-Girls want to have babies. Their wedding is their celebration for it then to be socially acceptable to be "with child."
-#3-The girls are in competition with each other. Just like the fact that girls do not dress up to impress guys, but rather to show off to other girls (as to cause feelings of jealousy and hatred), girls also enter into a kind of arms race with not only wedding rings, but also in the wedding itself. The wedding would then be a signal to all other females that their wedding displays that the bride is about to enter a monogamous relationship complete with childbearing with an alpha-male (or so the bride would like to think so). While this theory is the most boring, to me it seems to be the most sufficient in it's explanations.
Conclusion: I wrote the article for one reason...Weddings are so big, girls are willing to fork over thousands of dollars to go to an unaccredited bible college whose course material could probably be learned through a few books and a few talks with their own pastor in order to find a mate (most likely a pastor). Of course no girl claims this to be true, and nor am I saying this is the case in all instances, but I will say that it does happen and several girls have admitted to it, and that if I ever decided to go to a bible college it would be for the sole reason to find a wife.
To further the above reason, a dear friend of mind described a class at her bible college...in this class the final project was for the student to PLAN THEIR OWN WEDDING complete with a budgeted outline with a where, when, and what will be worn at the wedding! Is there no better of a symbolic event than this which displays our movement's infatuation with the ceremony of inaugurating a marriage?
Hahaha - I love the Bible College reference. If you have gone to any sort of Christian college - check out The Unlikely Disciple. Freaking hilarious book.
ReplyDeleteGS always happening at my house...thank you mr. riley
ReplyDeleteThe Bible College reference is SO TRUE. Once again Mr. Riley- you have managed to perfectly place into words something that I have always known about the apo movement but never quite been able to express.
ReplyDeleteApostolic/pentecostal weddings are very boring, imo. It would seem like there is no planning except for decor, food and the wedding dress. The married couples can't dance at the weddings I've attended at my church. I come from a culture that allows for dancing at weddings.
ReplyDeleteI've always heard others call IBC, "Indiana Bridal College." Lol. Thats kinda sad.
I think "inaugurating a marriage" is the last thing on a lot of apostolic girls minds when they're planning a wedding. Somehow, the life gets lost in the day.
ReplyDeleteWait...apparently this entry is only open to anonymous commentors. Soooo...where it says "Kyle" above, read "anonymous"
ReplyDeleteKyle it's anonymous week around SAL. I guess you didn't get the memo...
ReplyDelete-Anonymous
ugh... I was one of those as a teeny bopper girls, among my other girl friends back in the day. lol... but, it comes with the territory of having an abundance of estrogen in our bodies. :) None the less, I "settled" for a wedding on a yacht in San Pedro with only a handful of people. Not a fan of the big hoopla's, personally.
ReplyDeleteOh and about Bible College, I wasn't allowed to go after high school because apparently I would only get my "MRS" degree. *insert dramatic eye roll* (not even kidding)
Hysterical!! Pieces of this article are spot on, imo, and everything else hit my funny bone. Btw, I was part of the 25%, but I did go to Indiana Bridal College. :)
ReplyDeleteOops....15%, not 25% *blushing* #wronggender
ReplyDeleteI completely agreee with EVERYTHING you said Joel...growing up in this apo movement, yeah it gets a bit monotonous to say the least. I think a big part of the whole scenario (at least for me) is that a girl fully expects that when she reaches her twenties everything will simply fall into place. And when it doesn't...where better to search for happiness then in a guy? Although the assumption that this fixes everything is completely false, it is, none the less, what we grow up believing with no one telling us otherwise. What's a girl to do?!!
ReplyDelete-Victoria Starr*
Well Victoria for you I suggest selling music and getting yourself out there and well known. That sounds like the opposite of monotonous. I mean if you start playing music and make a career out of this how can it not be monotonous? Good luck...
ReplyDeleteThere is one other piece to all this - the married women who are constantly asking, "Are you dating anyone? When are you getting married? You're just too picky, blah, blah, blah" I am one of the 15%, didn't walk down the aisle until I was 27, gasp!
ReplyDeleteThis post is so very spot on! I personally hate it how in Christianity as a whole, it's basically portrayed that until you are a wife and mother, you haven't "arrived". What happened to us being made in His image, serving Him ALL the days of our life, not just our married ones? I'm not some un-romantic cynic, I'm actually a very sappy hopeless romantic, but I'm just saying. There's so much pressure, and it makes us girls feel as if we have to 'complete' ourselves with a guy. Puts the guy on a pedestal, and he very easily can crowd into 'god' territory where we lose sight of our First Love. Very unhealthy. Jesus should be number one, fulfilling all our needs until He sees the time is right to bring someone to COMPLEMENT, not complete. *steps off soapbox* ;)
ReplyDeleteThe worse comment is, "God will bring you someone when you're ready enough and responsible enough for the commitment..." As a Pentecostal who is 26 and just now working on a wedding, it was by far the worse. The pressure for girls to marry young is insane
ReplyDelete