Wednesday, April 28, 2010

#147-Going all Salem Witch Trial on suspicious toys....

 You know those moments when you’re driving and some person in the car next to you reminds you of a face from decades ago. And then your mind aimlessly rambles on it’s way conjecturing images of what that person is doing these days, and then inevitably settles on blurry memories of that person in the past?

Well I had one of those occasions today. Except it was not about a specific person, but rather my church.

My church, back in the day, was one of those churches that never had a dull moment. God was either rocking the socks of the place, or, if He was seemingly absent, we would witness 2-3 scandals in His stead which was just as entertaining and fulfilling for the gossip rings.

Most of the time, it revolved around either adulatory, people leaving church, or teenagers rebelliously going to movie theaters. But every now and then, one of the scandals revolved around a polemic against the modern novelty and/or favorite children’s trend of that era.

Let me give you an example:

One time, in the 80’s,  a lady at my church had a dream about these things:

These William Howard Taft looking things are called Cabbage Patch Dolls. But  it was not just any old dream about these “Cabbage Patch Dolls” (I have no idea where they got the name from), but rather it was an informative dream that revealed to the dreamer from the heavens above, that the Cabbage Patch Dolls were in fact….DEMONIC.

And this set off fire storm at my church….

Just like Christians had a Record Burning of Beatles’ records in the 1960’s…

So too, was there a search high and low within the households of our church patrons to make sure every cabbage patch doll and every remaining vestige of cabbage patch dolls were exiled from the houses.

Of course, we can all easily discern years later, that the struggle was not one of the demonic but rather a simple mix-up of confusing ugliness for the satanic. I too, am quick to make a judgment on that which is aesthetically displeasing to the eye as being demonic. I do this all the time at my initial observation of Barbara Bush...

Of course we all know Barbara Bush is not demonic, but the principle is there: Weirdness in looks and uncertainty about certain trends will predictably result in allegations of the trend being demonic.

Another example which was more in line with my age of development as a toddler:

If I remember correctly, there was even fear of any one of the following as being possessed: Care Bears, Power Rangers, Teletubbies (the purple one of course being a little too flamboyant with his purple costume and purse), He-Man, AOL online cd’s offering free internet service, Barney, Pokemon, and Furbies.

I’m so curious, what are some of the weirder polemics that you have witnessed around your church (these more likely than not will be unique to the church and not necessarily international polemics)?


  1. Teletubbies, AOL online cd’s offering free internet service, Barney, Pokemon, and Furbies.

    LOL I remember oh too well 'contending' with these things also as a youngster in the church.

    Thanks for the laugh ;)

  2. What about Barbie dolls and Bratz? Or all things that entice lustful spirits and eating disorders in girls? I had a sunday school teacher physically destroy a Barbie doll for a demo in her lesson... I think that was the same person who said Santa is actually Satan in disguise. LOL.

  3. For some reason Harry Potter wasn't acceptable but Lord of the Rings were fine because they had a 'Christian author.' Even though Harry Potter is blatantly Messianic. And of course, the people denouncing the books as the Devil's handiwork had never read them. Maybe they had a dream as well?

  4. My father made a very good point about an evangelist who had burnt some of his "evil" albums in a fire behind his house and saw a goat head rising from the flames. "Well, for heaven's sake, he was delivered from drugs, it was probably all over his albums and he was out there tripping on God knows what burning up his record collection."

  5. Is it true that the Pentecostal Herald reprinted an article from The Onion regarding Harry Potter?

  6. anonymous above,

    I do not know if the comment was a joke in line with the satire of the post or if the question is real.

    If it's real, I do not know of such an article, but my God, if it's true I want to know immediately and want to find the article.

    That would be one for the ages.

    Can anyone shed light on this rumor?

  7. Please please please let the rumor be true. I would LOVE the Onion reprinted in the Herald.

  8. That would be amazing! Even if it's not it possible to make this happen?

    I personally was a dungeons and dragons fan growing up. Luckily my dad (the pastor) is pretty open minded. However there were sone serious Harry Pitter debates, until someone actually read the
    and pronounced them kids fun stories.

    Last summer at MS Youth Camp, they had a special speaker brought in for one service to speak 2 hrs on the evils of twilight. As an Amnne Rice fan, I think Twilight is a silly story about a boy who sparkles and lives in the forest (that my friends is a fairy).

    But it was a bit disconcerting that they felt that strongly about something like that yet didn't talk about anything like abortion, homelessness, missions, believing in an age of skepticism...