The sermon is wrapping up. The preacher has asked you all to stand. He’s making his final comments and…what’s this? It appears conviction has settled upon the audience to such a great degree that one young chap can no longer wait. He goes for it. He slowly makes his stride toward the altar as the preacher continues. And then another. The another.
All the while you’re left standing in your pew pondering. “Do I go? Do I stay? Do I wait for the official call? I don’t want to look backslidden, but I don’t want to look over eager either. What to do, what to do.”
Such instances regularly occur at convocations where numerous church congregations are gathered together, but not necessarily in every church on and individual basis. The over-enthused young gentleman is not a novelty of every church, like the sleeper, but he does exist in one out of three, at least.
From whence does his charisma/enthusiasm come? Is it a desperate conviction laid forth by the Word that just went forth? Is he hoping to catch the gleaning eye of potential future mates in attendance? Is he slow? One may never know the reason for the early approacher’s early approach but we do know this: he, not the preacher, decides when the altar call will be, and this right is to be cherished.
(Side note: Joel said not to be too sarcastic or demeaning, as my humor tends to be quite confrontational, but I can’t help but ask the reason for the following:
WHY is there always one young lass who always lays down at the altar? Everyone else knees or stands but it seems there’s always one overly dramatic boy who can’t touch Heaven without his face three inches from hell. Maybe it’s just a local thing, but I’ve always wondered, because I never really have the desire to sprawl out on the floor, but maybe that’s just me. Any opinions?)
The one question that made me laugh sadly is "Is he slow?" I havent a clue if this makes me a bad person but as your side info says
ReplyDelete"A subsequent purpose of this blog is to generate laughter." good job
HAHA!!! Ok, SO like why is there ALWAYS one girl that gets "slain in the spirit" on the guys side of the alter at youth camps?!?!?! Oh wait...thats me...hahaha!!! J/K! J/k!!! Actually, I am the girl that WANTS to be the early aproacher to the alter but is to scared to be the FIRST!!!
ReplyDeleteHaven't seen an early approacher in years...Does this mean my church is backslidden????
ReplyDeleteGlen, when your spirit is smitten with enough conviction, you will sprawl out on the floor . . . you WILL sprawl out on the floor (said with the same scary foreboding that Yoda used with Luke Skywalker, pre-Jedi).
ReplyDeleteI wish that there was some sort of preventative measure that would at least keep early approacher in check. Maybe something comparable to the false start penalty in football.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is a bit too Marxist, but could we think of the early approacher as a sort of revolutionary vanguard? Think about it, the pastor, one would assume, has the authority given by God to direct the flow and direction of the service (The State). The congregation develops a certain awareness of itself and its position relative to the platform (which is raised above them), but needs a leader to set off the action (Proletariat). This is where the early approacher comes in, leading a rebellion in the organization of the service and starting the mass migration towards the altar. Just as was the case with Russia's pre-industrial revolution, some early approachers start an ill-advised movement that just ends up being awkward and uncomfortable. Alas, once it's begun there's almost no way to recover the stability of the service (you know, unless God wants to move or something)
ReplyDeleteIs there a solution? If the pastor wants to, he/she could open up a civil dialogue with the early approacher outside of service and explain to them the benefits and drawbacks of their over-eagerness. Of course, one could also go the route of complete oppression and repression. In this case I would suggest setting up a gulag somewhere in the church for these individuals, perhaps in the nursery or a store closet. Set up a closed circuit tv with a sermon on during services and let the early approachers do their thing. This way they can have an altar experience maybe even before the pastor's finished the normal announcements at the beginning of the service--without the usual uncomfortableness afforded by an individual flat on their face while everyone else in the room is still trying to figure out why Elijah's she-bear attack has anything to do with spiritual regeneration and redemption. Just a suggestion.
My bad, that was elisha, not elijah, but you get the point.
ReplyDeleteChady, I deem your comment the greatest left on the blog thus far!
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should have a cushioned area at the bottom of the platform. Left for boys, right for girls. Ya know, a designated "sprawl" area. ;)
ReplyDeleteCheers to Chady's comment!
ReplyDeleteIf you're hypothesis is true, then we as the proletariat (the audience) hold the actions of the Early Approacher as a superior anti-thesis at the altar as opposed to choosing to support the thesis of the preaching pastor(and maintain stasis). The Dialectic here is one Marxists would drool over....Either maintain in a state of inferior peasantry and sit in pew getting scolded for our spiritual weaknesses or take action with the early approacher which will lead the peasantry to stop serving God from the words of a mediator (the state aka the speaker) and seek God directly...Of course the synthesis of such a dialectic is the fact that if you follow the early approacher, the preacher will most likely be forced to end his sermon earlier than anticipated, which allows for church to end shorter than anticipated which allows for the peasants to get their food from a restaurant after the service quicker than anticipated...
Your views have enlightened me Chady....
I am now for the Early Approacher revolucion!
Viva la early approacher!
I think that there are some who believe that laying before the Lord or as you call it sparwled out on the floor is something that I have seen done by Soakers who tend to soak up the presence of god and feel more often than not to sprawl out on the floor and do it.
ReplyDelete