Monday, October 5, 2009

#71-Invading gas stations via road trips and startling station attendants everywhere

Whether it be a trip to congress/camp/convention/creationist museum/choir tour/amusement park or any other destination, the church/youth group trip is sure to be a catalyst of many above average memories of awkward courtships, hotel shenanigans, and stern "talking tos" for years to come....

Of course half the fun of church trips are the road trips themselves. Be it through a fleet of cars or through the decade-old, sometimes reliable, environment hating Church van, the road trip defines the mood of the rest of the trips once at the destination. The conversation borders on the edge of inappropriate, but usually can be accounted on the fact that puberty can be a very confusing and conflicting time for everyone involved...

and you never want to be that kid who falls asleep while everyone else is still full of energy because you will either be burped on, poked at, or at the very least have random object thrown in your mouth.

And then of course there is the "cool vehicle" be it a car or van wherein all the cool kids find themselves in one vehicle, and of course there is always 2-3 who are fighting arguing over that last spot available to be in the cool van, and not end up with the weird kids who listen to Skillet in their over-sized portable cd players....this is Survival of the Fittest at it's best... (special apologies to the person who recommended that I write about the "cool van" ...i forgot to add your name as a source when I added the topic...Whoever you are, God will reward you all the more so in heaven)

The most unique feature of such road trips are the bathroom breaks...when 5 girls have to stop to urinate, one won't have to go for another 2 hours which results in it's own separate stop. And then two guys who were trying to "man" it out the first two stops have to go another 2 hours past the second stop. When it's not the bathroom, it's the food, and when it's not the food, it's the gas...

But the point is when we stop in mass at a truck stop or gas station, subtlety is not the word we use to describe our stop. Invasion, mutiny, raid, takeover, etc... are all more appropriate words to describe the stop on the church road trip....

We barge in as if we have owned the place our whole life and likewise in a period of 3 minutes make the random gas station we stop at one of the top tourist destinations in terms of square foot density....Where there was no line for the bathroom, the females have somehow made the line a Rugrats episode length of a wait.....And that poor gas station attendant suddenly goes from making minimum wage by ringing some food in a scanner to world's greatest baby sitter.

And of course, if you are a youth leader/pastor and you see your kids lining up to get snacks, all you are thinking is how bad the car/van will smell within the hour because of the outrageous and unnecessary amount of energy drinks/synthetically cheesed chips that will be purchased, consumed, and burped out into the vehicle atmosphere.

Seriously, new Sheaves for Christ campaign idea: Ask that all kids save their money that would be spent on junk food/carbonated beverages during church road trips and give that money saved to SFC instead....I guarantee you we will have a record breaking fundraiser year.

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