Monday, October 19, 2009

#81-The Slippery Slope Argument

Usually it starts off as a discussion....something about hearing that some other church dropped such and such a standard, or started doing something in church differently such as cutting down church from two services to one. Then a person chimes in that such a move is so representative of the compromising times....No more holiness, no more following of the scripture, nor more God.....

Perhaps someone rebuttals with a scripture or two and how they don't see the issue as necessarily scriptural.

But then comes the sage in the group...the voice of infinite wisdom as if he could have written Proverbs himself....This sage talks about how he does not know if the issue in and of itself isolated is a sin issue (or perhaps he chimes in with the brilliant observation to show how impartial he is by stating the issue is not necessarily a heaven/hell issue).

But as the sage sets the stage of how he really has no stance but to please God, he adds that he does think the issue up for discussion is part of a grander scheme....A satanic ploy possibly....A SLIPPERY SLOPE....

This slope is purely an allegorical location because none of us have ever really discovered the true "slippery slope" nor have we ever met someone who openly tells you they rolled down the slippery slope, but we know it's there...somewhere....

And when one compromises on some biblical issue, the people who do such comprises are immediately transported (metaphorically of course) to this steep slope to which the only belief that people who fall down this slope stand on is not to have any beliefs at all. And here is the Apostolic slippery slope (a rough draft of course):

If playing cards are allowed then it will not be long until bowling alleys are allowed, and once bowling is allowed we mind as well allow sporting events, and if that is so, it will not be long until movie theaters are allowed and if movie theaters are allowed making out will be allowed and if making out is allowed electric guitars in church will be allowed and if electric guitars are allowed jeans on the platform are allowed and if jeans on the platform are allowed, facial hair on the platform will be allowed, and if facial hair on the platform is allowed, shorts will soon follow, and if shorts follow, holiness will collapse and if holiness collapses hair will be allowed to be let down at church and if hair is allowed to be let down at church it will not be long until perms of hair are allowed which will then allow for mild hair dying which will allow for shorter alter calls which will allow for gambling, which will of course allow for us to gamble on sporting events that we were once banned from. Of course TV's will have to be watched to see how the bets place.

Consider it a lock then that cover-up will follow, and once cover-up comes, consider Harry Potter sitting in your pews, and once Harry comes witchcraft will be in the air, and once witchcraft comes, church services will be limited to two times per week, which will allow for a secular church to rent out the halls of our church in off hours which will compromise Jesus name baptism which will compromise oneness which will compromise the Bible which will compromise tongues which will compromise skirts which will then allow for bathing suits on the platform. After bathing suits, we should give up because evolution is next, which leads to the Holocaust which will probably result in cannibalism. Cannibalism is the natural precursor to mascara, mascara to jewelry, and jewelry to Jezebel. Once Jezebel is resurrected from the grave, anything goes including 666 on foreheads....Somewhere in there we know what's next: Social Drinking. And Social Drinking means Socialism Which means Atheism. Which means abortion. Did I miss something?

PLEASE NOTE that by listing things in here it does not therefore mean I think them permissible. I am simply pointing toward a line of argument that is prevalent in our movement, and does indeed have some merit.

Addendum: I completely forgot about the thing that started it all...that Youth Congress message about Moses having to draw the line where the mountain starts. And further the realization that a line has to be drawn somewhere so we mind as well be safe where we draw the line instead of being sorry....Obvious, but it is oh so crucial to our line of thinking.


  1. Wicked. Your humor is wicked. Lol. Be prepared to be deletin' a firestorm of comments, my brother.

    But I should warn you . . . deleting blog comments leads to deleting the move of God in your life. And deleting the move of God leads to mixed bathing. And mixed bathing leads to human sacrifice. Just a heads up.

  2. While there is definitely truth to the notion that ideas of consequences and they lead you somewhere, unfortunately, the "compromise" button is usually pushed before the "rightly dividing the Word" button in our churches.

    It's a great way to marginalize a person or a group and write them off, thereby dividing the body of Christ over preferences and non-Biblical absolutes.

    But, yeah, your humor is definitely wicked.

  3. I think maybe the only things you may have missed was the colored shirts on the platform and no ties. Yep, definitely a slippery slope!

  4. And if IMAX is allowed then all movie theaters will be allowed... Whoopsies..

  5. And just to correct you, I have found the slippery slope! And I enjoy rolling down it and even taking a sled down it during cold weather! ;)

  6. Did you like delete my comment or did it just not get posted?

  7. I deleted it Mary. This shouldn't be a surprise. We obviously don't see things the same, and I do definitely enjoy your sense of humor, but you gotta realize comments inspiring debate will be removed.

  8. Oh ok. I was just wondering. It doesn't bother me, I was just like wondering if you had gotten it or if I should write the whole thing again. Just so long as you got it. :) I want you to know that I don't leave my comments to be rude. I really am concerned and bothered by some of the stuff you post. So you like my blog? BTW- you can delete this one too!!!

  9. Also, do you think its cool that I don't leave my comments anon?! Or would you rather I leave them anon?

  10. Hilarious! I am so enjoying this blog.

  11. Mary, I did read your blog(s). Good stuff. Sometimes a giggle, but always well written. And please continue leaving comments complete with name (i don't care much for the anonymous approach, it's all too easy to insult and run)....

  12. Okay awesome!!! YAY!!! I'm glad you like my blog! Yeah, thats kinda one of the reason I don't go anonymous, i have to THINK about what I am saying and make sure I am keeping a good attitude while discussing!!! =)

  13. I am a former Apostolic. My friend Kim, who commented above, pointed me to this site. Well, like her I have completely jumped down the slippery slope. You know what, it really isn't that bad. If fact, I am probably more of a christian now than I was when I had all those standards. So go figure.

    BTW, you are right on with this blog. :-)

  14. Amen to what Randall said! I was raised ultra conservative apo. I have since "moved on" to a non-denominational church that actually focuses on being a Christian and acting like it 100% of the time, other than just keeping your heels dug in the dirt for fear of the "slide", all the while forgetting that there are people at the bottom of the hill needing to hear the real message. I love being a Christian without all the politics. So much more enjoyable living for God.

    No offence. :)

    Funny post! Great sense of humor about it all. I do enjoy.

  15. I heard the best slippery slope story this week. A good friend of mine and her husband went to a pro baseball game for the first time. Her grandmother told her that if she went to the game that she would see people drinking beer, which would lead her to start drinking, which would lead her to being homeless. No lie.

  16. When I think of the many times I have heard the "slippery slope" bit, I imagine that really long ladder on the Chutes and Ladders game. You know, the ladder that no one wants get stuck sliding down.
    Just before the "slope" bit, I have found the "one-two punch". 1) Preach an opinion then 2) back it up with a principal.
    If later, someone comes to their senses to question it, bring out the "rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft" verse to convince them they are rebellious.
    If the individual does not buy into the non-scriptural opinionated one-two punch AND demonstrates a "rebellious spirit" by asking questions (everybody say, "ooooohhhh") AND states an opinion directly opposite of the rest of the sheeple THEN try to convince them that they are on the "slippery slope that slides into the very pit of hell!"