Stuff Apostolics Like

When discussing biblical principals with secular individuals it often becomes difficult to employ scripture in the conversation as a justification for Apo-Pento principles. Often the creative mind is forced to seek an extra-biblical reference point by which to illustrate our reasoning. Such tactics have been used in the debate against homosexuality by declaring that those types of relations are not found in nature and henceforth are un-natural. So when discussing the often hotly debated pants-vs.-skirts topic of apostolic women we find ourselves in a corner, against the ropes, taking blow after blow from the opposing forces of this world who seem to believe that it’s justifiable that women wear sin bottoms (pants). And just as we’re about to hit the mats, we rise like Mike Tyson in the third round match against Holyfield and theoretically bite the ear off our opponent with the declaration: “If you think that it is permissible for women to wear pants then explain to me why every bathro...

Okay, I could have opened up my facebook to any teenage apostolic girl's profile and find at least 10-500 pictures of her dowsed in make up at some private gathering.....but i don't out my facebook friends like that... But I am sure each one of you has the same kind of friends...use those friends and the pictures I am describing as your frame of reference.... Halloween But for adults in the world, all Halloween is becoming is an excuse for adult and/or teenage females to dress like whores. Whether it be a the whore nurse, whore angel, whore witch, whore high school student, or whore pirate...All of these costumes are popular amongst the secular ladies because they provide the minimal amount of clothing to be required by law without being cited for indecent exposure. They usually entail an incredibly short skirt, a low hanging top, and some terrible whorish looking leggings/stocking...Of course to top it off, all of these costumes entail  Hooker Boots . Well, our ...

" Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. "                                                        -G.K. Chesterton I heard this parable once about a 6 year old girl who asked her dad the S-E-X question. Her dad was silent. He then asked his daughter to help him by carrying his suitcase out to his car as he left for work. His daughter walked across the room to the suitcase and tried picking it up, but the suitcase wouldn't budge. She tried lifting the suitcase again, but this time with more effort, yet once again, it was clear that the child was no match for the weight of the suitcase... The child whined to her daddy that the suitcase was too big for her to car...

Addendum: The first part is more intended for more of my apostolic peers of dating age (or perhaps if you are married, reflect back on those days when you were in hot pursuit of fellow future Wives and Husbands at youth rallys and in church and what not) (Please note, in all of the below, the New Girl theory can be changed to the New Guy Theory) I remember being in fourth grade and we had just gotten back to school from Christmas break and the whispers were making their way around the hallways: There was a new girl in our grade. And she was not just any new girl...she was hot! And as we anxiously waited for our own-first hand testimony of this rumor, we ate up every word from each person who confirmed the reports that we had heard of her attractiveness. Of course there were the naysayers who said the new girl was "alright" or "OK" but who were they to have an opinion anyway? And then we saw the girl...and the reports were true...she was fantastic! Insta...

Okay, very briefly, I have heard more conversation of when is the right time to listen to Christmas music this year, than I heard of actual Christmas music all of last year. And it's annoying... Here's the solution: N ovember 1st-Thanksgiving -It's a gray area. There is no absolute answer about this one. Postmodern young people like myself love gray areas, so the grayness of whether or not Christmas music is okay starting the day after Halloween until Thanksgiving is up for your own personal subjective opinion. And it's up to you to apply your personal opinion in truth. Just don't dare make your personal opinion absolute dogma that other people need to follow and try pulling some random verse meant for poetry in Psalms as a reason God doesn't like you  to listen to Christmas music this early. It's okay to say you have personal convictions that are not in the bible. Just don't get mad when someone who does not have the same personal conviction does t...

On the eve of this most tragic evenings, at the dawn of the theatrical release of the newest Twilight installment ("Emperor's New Moon"), I thought it best we pay homage to the one of the most confusing infiltrations of Apostolic culture since Whitney Houston did the Preacher's Wife.... First, let me be the first to say that I have never seen Twilight. I am not fond of vampires. I am not fond of vegetarians. And I hate people who sparkle when the sunlight hits them. I am therefore am especially not a fan of vegetarian vampires who sparkle in the sunlight. Personally I would have been satisfied with the whole "romantic-vampire" genre being retired after the atrocities of Interview with the Vampire/Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie)..... But hey, who am I to judge? That said, I have some distinct memories when Twilight first entered the apostolic scene: First, it had come on the heels of the conclusion of the Harry Potter saga, and we all know a...

 Housekeeping note:  First, expect to see posts from a 4th blogger on the site...Kyle Brown. I don't know much about him but know that he will be a valuable voice within this community complete with snarky commentary on anything you may witness at your local church culture.. to the post... The following is quoted directly from a friend ... Using the words "apostolic" and/or "pentecostal" as adjectives to decribe arbitrary nouns as if declaring something "apostolic/pentecostal" increases the overall value of that thing. For example...Apostolic worship, Pentecostal singing, or We're going to to to the restaurant to eat "apostolic pentecostal" style.... Apostolic pepsi Apostolic clothing Apostolic pentecostal marriage Also:  sometimes words like "charasmatic", "baptist", "secular",  is used as an adjective to decrease the value of a noun. For example a preacher may, when trying to probe for a cl...

I don't understand this phenomenon and it's been around since the beginning of the internet... Basically all these chain e-mail forwards look like are old geocity websites made into an e-mail complete with a handful of useless GIF images of angels....... As referenced in the title, all these chain-emails revolve around is either A story about a child dying with cancer whose life can be saved by every e-mail you forward,  A cute story of an innocent child having a distorted perception of the world that makes you say awwww (such as a child giving blood to someone in need but thinking the giving of the blood would actually kill the giving child). The dangers of universal health care. A story that quotes a letter from a soldier in Iraq about how sick the soldiers are of the liberals who hate George Bush and how appreciative the soldiers are of support and how they love America. A story about how a law is being proposed that will take even more prayer out of schools...

Handkerchiefs may seem like an insignificant church extra at first glance (unlike ties and, in some places, pantyhose) but, in fact, they are used for several holy, distinctly Apostolic purposes. Here are three of the most significant reasons Apostolics like handkerchiefs: Wiping Off Preacherly Sweat The true worth of a message is measured by the amount of sweat produced by the deliverer. Especially if it's a convention speaker. C'mon. We Apostolics know good and well that if going to a convention, especially if we had to travel a little ways to get there, we didn't go to hear some man (and it's always a man, unless it's Ladies' Conference or something) give a calm lecture. We went to hear the preacher preach. Youknaaimsayin? And when the preacher preaches, really preaches, there will be stomping, there will be yelling, there will be heavy breathing (directly into the mic), but most of all, there will be sweat. No preacher worth his salt would dare grace...

The sermon is wrapping up. The preacher has asked you all to stand. He’s making his final comments and…what’s this? It appears conviction has settled upon the audience to such a great degree that one young chap can no longer wait. He goes for it. He slowly makes his stride toward the altar as the preacher continues. And then another. The another. All the while you’re left standing in your pew pondering. “Do I go? Do I stay? Do I wait for the official call? I don’t want to look backslidden, but I don’t want to look over eager either. What to do, what to do.” Such instances regularly occur at convocations where numerous church congregations are gathered together, but not necessarily in every church on and individual basis. The over-enthused young gentleman is not a novelty of every church, like the sleeper, but he does exist in one out of three, at least. From whence does his charisma/enthusiasm come? Is it a desperate conviction laid forth by the Word that just went forth? Is he hoping ...

It's a Sunday night, and the preacher has gotten into that part of his sermon where he's off the platform, roaming the altar area, and starting to take tentative strides into the pew area. No matter what he's preaching, you know he's about to say it. In your head you start counting down: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and . . . "There are people out there, sitting in the pews of denominal churches who are lost because they don't know the truth! We ain't a denomination, a denomination's just part of the whole. We got the the whole truth! I thank God for the revelation of who He is! I thank God I received the infilling of the Holy Ghost at a Pentecostal altar --" * record scratch * Okay, stop right there. Hol' up, preacher. You said we ain't a denomination, but a breath later you described the type of altar at which you got the Holy Ghost as a distinctly Pentecostal one. Since when did Pentecostal (or Apostolic, in staying with accordance to the title of this...

 Fine Print: Okay so I know the term "hooker boots" is inevitably going to offend some people. Lord knows that if I was from some rural environment who has found his little utopia in the small town nearby and their local church, whose size ranges from 50-100 people I would probably be offended too because hookers seem so depressingly dirty and unclean and promiscuous and obscene and invasive and capitalistic   and therefore should avoid every reference to them..... A little bigger print: That said, I have wanted to write about this topic for a quite some time ever since this was recommended by a reader, but I struggled with the proper terminology and wording that encompasses the fact that the picture above is a visual element of a pair of boot-shoes that gained their notoriety and fame and influence directly from the prostitutes that frequent our ghetto's, brothels, shady joints that pollute our towns, and any other visual dungeon of our civilization.We don't want...

This post was recommended by an anonymous source.... There is a saying I am about to make up, that I would like to attribute to some famous UPC preacher... "When we start to leave the hairspray off our heads, we start leaving the Jesus out of our hearts." Think about it...before the hair cutting, before the wearing of pants, what is the first thing that really goes for a prospective female back slider? They stop caking the hair spray on their head. They stop with the whole doing your hair up, and just start letting their hair down (if you're a female). The male usually just lets his hair grow out instead of doing his hair like with a well hair-spray sealed parting of hair (like Ted Coppel) or spiking it like he was a new evolutionary form of a hedgehog. In essence they stop caring so much about what they look like at church, and the hair spray is the first indicator of this Pentecostal hair styling apathy. The anonymous contributor described her and her husband...

The Battle One of the greatest challenges in life is entering a church service with less than 4 hours of sleep under your belt and trying to stay awake the entire service... The battles between staying awake or dozing off for a few z's during church can be quite momentous....Usually the first question before engaging in battle is whether or not the battle is even worth it....if you are wise, you sit in the back corner of the sanctuary where face time to other people is minimal. So if you do fall asleep, a few people at most will be able to spot your error.... But for most of us, this luxury is not realistic for we as young people do not want to be thought of as on the way out church backsliders, for only on the way out-church backsliders really sit in the dark crevices, clefts, and back rows of the sanctuary ... and this brings about the battles between sleep and awake, death and life, being worldly or being holy. We struggle, we wrestle, we find our eyelids fading fast o...