Skip to main content

#4-IMAX

Image
By

Ah yes, the ultimate in Pentecostal contradiction. We can't go to movie theaters (most of us), so we settle for the next best, most similar but actually better thing: the IMAX. Upon logic which we do not even know, we say the evil demons and make-out tendencies that make movie theaters so bad are in no way present in IMAX theaters.

IMAX is in fact the movie theater's steroid-using stronger little brother that somehow slipped underneath the Apostolic sin-radar in the name of education. That's right, since IMAX began initially in science only museums and showed only scientific films one can easily see why the IMAX was so permissible.

And naturally us as Apostolics took IMAX up on it's full potential value as something that allowed us to feel like we could be normal teenagers on Friday evening by watching a film in a theater-like complex. Except we watched the nerdy films about space and Mt. Everest, but outside of that, IMAX was the perfect not-sinful, yet sinfully similar movie theater loophole.

But that is not where the story ends....In recent years, the IMAX has become a movie theater institution. It has shown every secular film from Star Wars to Dark Knight to the Watchmen, but we don't want to tell our pastors this breakthrough. So we stick to the 1990's declaration of IMAX's being okay, despite the IMAX being everything a movie theater is except with a bigger screen.

O believe you me young reader, I am with you....I will live and die in this IMAX paradigm until I die. When "Where the Wild Things Are" comes out on October 16 I will scoff at anyone I hear going to see it in movie theaters, but will happily watch the same film on a bigger screen in a science museum in complete happiness and innocence that same day.

(please note that I am open to any and all suggestions which can be emailed to me at joelrile@gmail.com)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#150-Holy Magic Hair (sort of)

By
Preface: As with many posts, the claims made in this post are far from being definitive to the whole apostolic movement. In fact I has been very surprised and pleased with the openness of many apostolic officials and higher ups to denounce the doctrine of "magic hair" as a heresy in recent months. It must also be noted that whatever controversy may be derived from this post, the thoughts are not really my own. Many men more articulate and intelligent than I have already tried to openly combat this theory and have done so in a far more effective fashion than I could. For the most comprehensive understanding of Holy magic hair, please visit  http://holymagichair.com/wordpress/ . Also note that this is not a criticism anyway in uncut hair, nor is it advocating hair cutting. I'm critiquing a doctrine that has developed around long hair. Okay, when I originally started SAL, I had a post about HMH (holy magic hair) in mind. However, after a beloved teacher of mine spoke o...
190 comments
Read more

#115-Dressing Up For Church

By Anonymous
Editor’s Note: At the Stuff Apostolics Like blogging institute that consists of a simple blanket fort made out of a giant blanket and two kitchen chairs facing back to back some 5 feet apart, we wrestle from time to time on our purpose….. Remembering to take a minute and laugh at ourselves is our number one goal. However, I readily admit that this goal can come across cynical and overly deconstructive in it’s ambitions. So today, in this blog I want to introduce to you a new wing of a blog topic that seeks to build on our understanding and not destroy… It’s the slightly informative/slightly humorous/slightly obnoxious blog entry…And with this blog entry a side purpose is to educate as well as laugh. Of course these blog types will be few and far between, but let this serve as a forewarning as to not confuse when they do arrive….. without further adieu, The age old custom of dressing up for church isn’t so aged and isn’t so old. First, there is no record of average congre...
61 comments
Read more

#280-Jeff Arnold and His "Idiot" Friends.

By
So basically this happened last week at Because of the Times (no, not the Kings of Leon album, but the preacher's conference that was named after the album): And by "this happened" I really mean a Jeff Arnold sermon-rant to formally announce his senility. Literally, the dude was Khrushchev slamming his shoe on a podium, a rambling Richard Sherman in a postgame interview, a conservative Michael "Shame on you Mr. Bush" Moore at the Oscars. In short, Jeff Arnold pulled a Kanye in front of anyone who matters in the UPC. And it's not like we didn't see it coming . For those who haven't been paying attention to Twitter or simply got wise enough to not really care one iota about the ongoing Reality TV tragicomedy that is the UPC, let me tell ya, you're missing a whole lot of chuckle moments. But to catch you up to speed.. here's the run-down of Mr. Arnold's sermon: -Confesses aspirations to be lauded by God as one of the greatest ...
77 comments
Read more